The Anime-zing Race

Episode Eight

Author’s Notes
As we head into the stretch, I hope that people are still treating this as a fanfic instead of a contest. Although the pick’em contest is a fun way to provide some audience interaction, it’s by no means the top priority. You’ll notice that the way the race has been turning out has not been convenient for the contest operator or participants (if the contest was the main thing, it would be really easy to simplify and take out ties, skipped challenges, and time penalties). That’s because I’d prefer this to be considered a story, and with it, I still encourage comments and criticism on it. Especially with this week’s twist…

Recap

(For aesthetic effect, lead in with the glowing Anime-zing Race logo over space.)

Ruri: (VO) Last episode, during the Martian Successor Nadesico leg of the Anime-zing Race…

(Various recap of highlights from Episode Seven, showing whatever is appropriate.)

Ruri: (VO) In reality, nothing happened. It was a filler episode. Perhaps something could be said about Takato and Henry’s problems Boson Jumping.

Henry: (VO) I’m really surprised we couldn’t execute a Boson Jump properly. Maybe we weren’t focused or something. Whatever it was, it really cost us some time.

Ruri: (VO) Or perhaps Kiyone and Mihoshi’s success, and first place finish.

Mihoshi: (VO) All this time, we kept telling ourselves that we were going to do well in space. And we did! We finally did it!

Ruri: (VO) I’m a little more concerned about those voiceovers that keep interrupting me. It’s true that Ash and Brock finished last, but it was a non-elimination leg, so they got a reprieve. But somebody will have to go eventually. Which team will be eliminated tonight, on the Noir leg of the Anime-zing Race?

**** THE ANIME-ZING RACE ****
11 TEAMS OF 2:
TAKUYA & ZOE (The Digi-Destined- Digimon) {ELIMINATED}
SAKURA & TOMOYO (The Best Friends- Cardcaptor Sakura) {ELIMINATED}
SPIKE & JET (The Bounty Hunters- Cowboy Bebop) {ELIMINATED}
ASH & BROCK (The Trainers- Pokémon)
AEKA & SASAMI (“Team Princess”- Tenchi Muyo) {ELIMINATED}
MISATO & RITSUKO (“The NERV Girls”- Evangelion) {ELIMINATED}
SYAORAN & MEILING (The Cousins- Cardcaptor Sakura)
TAKATO & HENRY (The Tamers- Digimon)
YUKINO & ARIMA (The Dating Couple- Kare Kano)
KIYONE & MIHOSHI (The Police Officers- Tenchi Muyo)
GARY & SAMUEL (The Grandson/Grandfather- Pokémon) {ELIMINATED}

12 LEGS…
15 SERIES…
5 COUNTRIES, 2 PLANETS, 3 DIMENSIONS, AND A SPACE STATION…
**** THE ANIME-ZING RACE ****

Leg Eight

(Life is good aboard the Nadesico. Crew members are happily going about their business… sort of. Anyway, our fair captain Yurika Misamaru stands in the bridge.)
Yurika: This is the Nadesico. With a crew of more than 200 and a state-of-the-art arsenal, it’s one of the key factors in the war between Earth and Jupiter. This mobile battleship is the seventh Pit Stop in the race.

(Shot of Syaoran and Meiling arriving.)

Yurika: (VO) Teams arrived at the end of the last leg for a much-needed rest period.

(Shot of the Howmei girls, very much occupied with serving the five teams, as Howmei and Akito continue to prepare food in the kitchen.)

Yurika: (VO) Now, they can eat, sleep…

(Shot of Akatsuki attempting to seduce Mihoshi as Brock takes notes.)

Yurika: (VO) And mingle with the other teams.

(Shot of Yurika standing in the virtual reality room. To create a visual effect, the room cycles through locations- from the Jusenkyo springs to the jungle to University Satellite to the Eiffel Tower.)

Yurika: The still five teams remaining don’t have a clue what’ll happen next. So they have to find out how to get to the next yellow-and-red route marker by solving clues they’ll find in those cute little sealed envelopes.

(Shot of Kiyone and Mihoshi descending the cavern during the last Detour.)

Yurika: (VO) Will Kiyone and Mihoshi be able to keep their momentum going?

(Shot of Ash and Brock getting lost in their ATV.)

Yurika: (VO) And will Ash and Brock be able to avoid elimination again, despite starting in last for the fourth time?

(Mihoshi hugs Kiyone merrily after their first place finish.)
Yurika: (VO) Indeed, Kiyone and Mihoshi were the first to arrive at 9:02…

(Now they are back on the mat. Kiyone has a card.)

Yurika: (VO) …so that means they leave first at 21:02.

(Kiyone rips it open and it’s back to business as usual.)
[KIYONE & MIHOSHI- Galaxy Police Officers- First to Depart]
Kiyone: Return to Earth. As soon as you arrive, you’ll be sent back to the present. Then visit the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France.

(Kiyone blinks a few times.)

Kiyone: Whoa.

(Rapid shots of an ATV returning to the Martian airport, where a shuttle returns to Earth. Enter Chloe.)
Chloe: (VO) Teams must take the vehicles to the terminal and take a shuttle to Earth. As soon as they arrive, they will be taken back to the present. Then they must find a flight to Paris, France.

(Kiyone and Mihoshi walk through the Nadesico, looking for the exit.)
Kiyone: (VO) At first I was elated. I mean, we’re going to Paris. Everybody wants to visit Paris at one time and I’m no exception. But then I realized that the advantage that we had from being out in space was suddenly gone.

(Takato and Henry leave the bridge.)
[TAKATO & HENRY- Digimon Tamers- 2^nd to Depart]
Henry: Well, we’re going back to Earth. That’s a good thing. I guess we ended up doing fine in space, but there’s a certain comfort with being on the right planet, you know?

(Very soon after them, Yukino and Arima read the clue.)
[YUKINO & ARIMA- Dating Couple- 3^rd to Depart]
Yukino: Oh wow. I’ve always wanted to go to France.

Arima: Great. I think it’s a perfect place for us to get back on top.

(They high-five and head out.)

Yukino: We haven’t discussed anything formal yet, but I think that we both are seriously considering the Fast Forward. We’re in the middle of the road right now. We’re not too concerned about elimination, but now’s a great time for a booster. Again, it’s something we’ll talk about, especially with Kiyone and Mihoshi.

(Hit-woman Mireille Bouquet stands in the famed sewers of Paris. In one hand she holds the Fast Forward envelope. In the other is a gun.)
Mireille: There’s only one Fast Forward hidden on each leg of the race. Any team talented enough to find it first can skip all tasks and go directly to the Pit Stop. But once a team uses the Fast Forward, they can’t use it again for the rest of the race. They’ll need to think ahead and use it when it suits them best.

(Shot of a small chalk circle in the wall of the sewers, maybe six inches in diameter. In the center is what could very well be a single bullet hole… riddled with bullets countless times in the same spot.)

Mireille: (VO) To claim the Fast Forward on this leg, teams must find my shooting range in the sewers underneath Paris.

(Back to Mireille, on the other side of the sewer.)

Mireille: Using a paint gun, one team member will need to lodge a shot inside the circle I use for target practice.

(In a flash, Mireille turns around and fires her gun. The shot lodges in the same spot every other shot does… directly inside the circle. Mireille turns back around.)

Mireille: Once they land a shot, the Fast Forward is theirs.

(Yukino and Arima are off the ship, and are on an ATV. Once again, Arima is driving.)

Yukino: Looks like the terminal’s on the tracker now.

Arima: Great. Lead the way.

(They take off. As they continue to drive, they bring the discussion up.)

Yukino: What are the odds that everybody’s going to get thrown together on the same flight back?

Arima: Pretty good.

Yukino: We’re all squared away, and it’s probably going to be an elimination leg. So I think we should go for the Fast Forward.

Arima: What do the cops think?

Yukino: Haven’t talked about it with them yet.

Arima: Don’t you think we’d better?

Yukino: You bet. Them and us are the only teams who haven’t used it yet. So if we take it one leg and let them take it next elimination, we’re both pretty much set for the finals.

Arima: Assuming they get through this leg, and we get through the next elimination.

Yukino: For us? Piece of cake.

(Syaoran and Meiling make their debut as they walk off the mat.)
[SYAORAN & MEILING- Cousins- 4^th to Depart]
Meiling: Oh, France! How romantic! You and me, together in Paris…

Syaoran: …doing something incredibly insane like piloting a robot…

Meiling: You don’t have a romantic bone in your body do you?

(Syaoran says nothing. He continues walking until Meiling glomps him.)

Meiling: But I love you anyway!

Syaoran: Mei… get off…

Syaoran: So far we haven’t killed each other. Which is very surprising. Don’t get me wrong, I care a lot about Meiling. I always look out for her, and she’s somebody I feel I have to protect. But she does get on my nerves once in awhile. Especially about the whole fiancé thing. It’s true that we are arranged to be married, but I don’t know if it counts if she’s the one that arranged it.

(Kiyone and Mihoshi are approaching the terminal. Mihoshi is driving rapidly. Kiyone’s trying to navigate… and also trying not to throw up.)

Kiyone: (shaken) The things we do for glory…

Mihoshi: (VO) Now that we’re leaving space, we have to think up ways for us to stay ahead. Flooring it to the shuttle terminal was just a start!

(Ash and Brock are in a familiar position…)
[ASH & BROCK- Pokémon Trainers- Last to Depart]
Brock: Paris! Yes!

(Ash grabs Brock by the ear and drags him away.)

Brock: Ash, what are you doing?

Ash: Practicing…

Brock: It’s great that we’re bound for Paris, but we do not want to be eliminated there. So I think it’s high time that we started playing some serious hardball to stay in this race. Both Ash and I are stick of starting in last, sick of having to outrun teams to the Pit Stop, and sick of opening that clue box at the route markers and seeing only one card in there. This time we’re either going to finish on top or die trying.

(Takato & Henry and Yukino & Arima are in a mad ATV race as they near the terminal. While Arima and Henry are both concentrating on their driving, Yukino and Takato taunt each other.)

Takato: Hey Yukino! Wanna drag!

Yukino: I’d rather fly- right past you! We’ll leave you to do the dragging!

Takato: First one to the terminal buys dinner!

Yukino: You’re on!

(Takato & Henry seem to have a narrow lead, but Arima keeps it close enough. They keep driving past the Mars landscape.)

(Kiyone and Mihoshi are now at the shuttle terminal. They are in line to secure tickets.)

Kiyone: We need to get on the next shuttle to Earth.

Clerk: Clearance?

Kiyone: Uh…

(Kiyone stumbles for a second, but quickly recovers by showing her Galaxy Police badge.)

Kiyone: We’re from the Galaxy Police. I think that’s clearance enough.

Clerk: Why are you flying with us instead of taking one of your ships?

Kiyone: Well, we’re in pursuit of a vicious space pirate that we believe is running around Earth. Our ships will be picked up on their radars, but taking a civilian transport will get us through unnoticed.

Clerk: As long as nobody’s in danger, I guess it’s fine.

(Kiyone and Mihoshi secure their tickets and sit down nearby. Kiyone looks through them.)

Mihoshi: Well, here comes the rest!

(Yet again, Yukino is rubbing cheeks with Takato as Arima and Henry flank them. They both reach the counter as two clerks help them.)

Yukino / Takato: We need to get to Earth!

Clerks: Clearance?

(Both look up, and look at each other. Arima walks over towards Mihoshi, who points them in the right direction. All four take the hint and walk towards the security room.)

Takato: So who won?

Yukino: I don’t think we’re done yet.

Henry: Well, security clearance slows everything down so much that there’s really no point in worrying about it. It’s fun, but doesn’t really affect things at all.

Takato: Yeah. So let’s just call it a d… NOW HENRY!

(Takato and Henry break into a run towards security. Yukino smiles and doesn’t chase after them.)

Yukino: Little bastards.

(Back to Kiyone and Mihoshi. Kiyone is looking at her ticket.)

Kiyone: Interesting. We’re going to Tokyo.

Mihoshi: Why’s that interesting? Where’s that space pirate we have to catch?

(Kiyone pauses for a few seconds before whacking Mihoshi in the back of the head.)

Kiyone: Well, as soon as we land, we have to book a flight to Paris. And everybody’s going to be scrambling for it. I’d call that interesting.

Mihoshi: Why?

Kiyone: I think Tokyo’s just a stopover this time. We need to get from Mars to France and we have to make a connecting flight in Tokyo.

Mihoshi: So?

Kiyone: What’s stopping us from booking the whole trip here?

Mihoshi: I don’t know? What?

(Kiyone smiles and stands up. They walk over to a desk.)

Kiyone: Hi, is there a service that deals with flights that stay on Earth?

(The clerk points off to his right.)

Clerk: There’s a Delta terminal over there.

(Kiyone walks over there with Mihoshi. After some negotiations, they get their tickets.)

Kiyone: It’s probably the final advantage we’ll be able to use regarding our experience in space. Everybody else is probably looking at this as two separate trips. One to Earth, and one to Paris. But we’re simply going from Mars to Paris via Tokyo, and we’ve got the boarding pass to prove it.

(Syaoran and Meiling run by Kiyone and Mihoshi. The GXP officers immediately point out where security is.)

Meiling: Thank you!

(They run by as Takato & Henry run out, followed soon by Yukino & Arima. Kiyone and Mihoshi quietly sneak away. Their business is complete. Takato & Henry and Yukino & Arima each return to the counter and pursue their tickets. Both make it on the Tokyo shuttle easily. The four begin to walk back. Henry pulls out a money card.)

Henry: Do suppose this works in France?

Takato: I doubt it. And if we return to the present as soon as we land, we might not be able to get it exchanged.

Henry: You know what I think?

Takato: Shopping spree?

Henry: No. Food. We don’t have that much left on this card.

(They go to a cafeteria and begin picking at the buffet.)

Takato: (VO) Last leg, we got a money card for our allowance. It’s what they use for currency up here- it’s just a number of credits instead of worrying about different units of money. This leg, we got all our money in euros. Since we’re going back to the present, anything on the money card is pretty much useless. So we’re using up what we have left.

(At the counter, Takato hands over the card, but there seems to be insufficient funds.)

Takato: Oh. Um…

(Another swipe… it’s Yukino’s card. She’s still smiling.)

Yukino: Like you said, winner buys dinner. Mind if we join you?

Takato: Sure!

(Yukino hands the card to Arima as she, Takato, and Henry sit down.)

Yukino: You guys figured out the whole thing with the money card too, I guess.

Henry: What do you mean? I don’t see you getting to burning it.

Yukino: I’m not using it on food. I’m going to pick up a few things in the gift shop. I can live with the in-flight meal.

(Arima sits down with his tray and returns the card.)

Yukino: Arima on the other hand…

Arima: Despite all my best efforts, I’m still a little spoiled.

(Silence as they eat for awhile. Yukino steals stuff off of Arima’s tray occasionally. Eventually, Takato laughs.)

Yukino: What?

Takato: That… that race to the airport… that was so unnecessary…

(Yukino laughs as well.)

Yukino: Yeah, but we needed one of those. We’ve been too close for too long to avoid having a good violent run-in. Even if they don’t matter.

Henry: We always do seem to be stuck together.

Arima: You guys are just that good.

Takato: Really?

Yukino: You bet. You two are my youngest sister’s age and you’re keeping pace with us pretty well. I have no doubt in my mind that it’s going to be you, us, and Kiyone and Mihoshi in the end.

Henry: And then things really turn violent!

(The four laugh.)

Yukino: Oh, definitely…

Yukino: When we’re not racing against each other, I really like Takato and Henry. They both seem to be into the game, and they aren’t nearly as aggravating as some of the others. We’ve been competing alongside them for so long that I think I’ve grown to admire their ability to hang with us. Especially since we still end up winning most of the time.

(Ash & Brock run into security as Syaoran & Meiling run out. The cousins reach the desk.)

Syaoran: Earth, please!

Clerk: Certainly…

(They get processed and packed.)

Meiling: (VO) France is going to be beautiful, I’m sure. It’s also going to be an advantage for us. Syaoran and I aren’t from Japan and it’s not our natural language. The only time we’ve been comfortable talking is when we were in Hong Kong! But in France… nobody knows what anybody’s saying! It’ll be great!

(Ash and Brock finish up with security and go after their tickets.)

Clerk: You’re in luck. There’s a shuttle leaving for Earth in twenty minutes.

Ash: Great!

(Brock is about to agree, but stops.)

Brock: Where on Earth is it going?

Clerk: Let me see… assuming it’s on schedule, it’s bound for Tokyo.

(Brock ponders it for awhile.)

Ash: What’s wrong? Everybody’s probably on this flight. We caught up!

Brock: Is there anything landing at some place besides Tokyo?

(The clerk types away at the computer.)

Clerk: Well, there’s a shuttle heading to Phobos in four hours. That’ll go to Earth immediately afterwards and land in… Moscow.

Ash: Brock, what are you doing?

Brock: Excuse me.

(Brock takes Ash off to the side.)

Brock: We’re going to Paris, right?

Ash: Yeah?

Brock: Well what’s closer to Paris? Tokyo or Moscow?

Ash: Uh… Moscow?

Brock: Exactly! If we take this flight, we’ll be closer!

Ash: But we’ll be four hours behind everybody else…

Brock: Well, on Earth it takes more than four hours to go from Tokyo to Moscow, so that makes the time up right there!

Ash: But going to Tokyo means that we’ll be even with everybody else. If we go to Moscow, one bad break will mean we’re done. If a flight’s delayed or something, or it takes forever to get out of Phobos… then we’re screwed. We’re really throwing the dice here. Even though we might end up in first, it’s really crazy… I don’t know if this will work.

(Ash pauses for a moment.)

Ash: Let’s do it.

(They buy tickets to the Phobos flight.)

Ash: Brock was right. We need to do something stupid. We need to take a chance on something. It’s first or last this time!

(Four teams are boarding the first flight to Tokyo.)

Kiyone: Hey, is it me, or is there a team missing?

Henry: I only count eight. Where’s Ash and Brock?

Mihoshi: Maybe they changed their minds and decided that last time was an elimination leg!

Meiling: No… we saw them here going to security. Right, Syaoran?

Syaoran: Yeah.

Yukino: Maybe they got held up. I wouldn’t be surprised if the authorities wouldn’t let Brock enter France.

Kiyone: Here’s hoping…

(They’re all getting situated on the shuttle… which is a good idea considering it’s a *long* flight.)

Arima: (VO) We were all expecting Ash and Brock to rush in at the last second and surprise us all. They have a knack for doing that. But time came, the shuttle left, and there was a team stranded on Mars. Yukino was obviously happy about it, but I was a little worried.

(Worry not, for Ash and Brock are wandering the terminal, going outside, and taking in everything.)

Ash: This is great!

Brock: Forget Tokyo and Moscow… I think just the choice between scrambling for the first flight and enjoying the atmosphere for a few hours did it.

Ash: We’ll never be here again, so we might as well enjoy it!

Brock: (VO) I wonder how many teams really were able experience Mars the way we did. We had four hours of free time, and we spent them like tourists. Our bags were checked in, and we spent the time wandering down the terminal, watching shuttles arrive and take off, people from other planets going about their business. It was just the idea of Mars being civilized and industrialized. So far I think it’s been the greatest experience we’ve had so far. And nobody else experienced it but us.

(The time comes. Ash & Brock get on the shuttle and take off.)

(On the first shuttle, Mihoshi’s fast asleep while Kiyone goes over to chat with Yukino and Arima.)

Kiyone: So what’s this I hear about the Fast Forward?

Yukino: Well, we’ve both got it, and we can’t use it at the same time.

Arima: We want to go for it now. That way you can take it whenever you want in the next legs.

Yukino: You sure you won’t need it?

Kiyone: No. We’re good. We already have our tickets to Paris.

Yukino: Really? Cool.

(Arima’s a little disturbed for some reason, but shakes it off.)

Arima: Good thinking.

Kiyone: Yeah. We’ll keep in mind that you have the Fast Forward. See you at the Pit Stop!

(The three laugh as Kiyone heads back to her snoring partner.)

(Cutaways to pass time. They’re back to Narita Airport in Tokyo. It’s been spruced up quite a bit to allow for interplanetary arrivals. The first four teams get through everything and are all greeted by Inez at the airport.)

Henry: Dr. Inez? What are you doing here?

Meiling: Yeah, I thought we were done with Nadesico.

Inez: Well, you guys need to go back to the present, and for some reason that Noir series doesn’t have time travel. Given the number of flashbacks in it, you’d think they would.

Yukino: Could you just beam us up already?

Inez: Sure…

(One Boson Jump later, everybody’s back in the present day.)

Inez: Go!

(Yukino/Arima, Takato/Henry, and Syaoran/Meiling race to the ticket counter. Kiyone, meanwhile, checks her ticket.)

Kiyone: Okay, we have to get to gate 18.

(Kiyone checks a clock on the wall.)

Kiyone: Shoot, we may have to hurry. C’mon!

Mihoshi: Coming!

(They run in the opposite direction.)

(All three are being helped by different clerks at Air France. After some frantic typing and tense moments, all three clerks look up.)

Clerks: Confirmed!

(They hand the boarding passes over.)

Yukino: How long before this flight leaves?

Clerk: You have forty minutes. Better hurry!

(They all run off.)

(Kiyone and Mihoshi go through regular present-day security. Mihoshi gets through.)

Mihoshi: Wow. That was nothing compared to before!

(The two break into a run towards the gate. The security guard is confused.)

Guard: I’ve never heard that before…

(The three teams also clear security and run to the gate. Finally, they arrive… at gate 20.)

Syaoran: Is this the Paris flight?

Attendant: You’ve just made it. Climb aboard.

(Cheers from all six as they hop on the flight.)

(Kiyone and Mihoshi arrive at Gate 18 and hand the boarding pass over to an attendant.)

Kiyone: When does the Paris flight start boarding?

Attendant #2: Paris flight? The next departure from this gate is Sydney, Australia.

Kiyone: Sydney? But this says…

(Kiyone hands over the boarding pass to the attendant. She looks at it.)

Attendant #2: I’m sorry, but this is clearly a fake pass.

Kiyone: Excuse me?

Attendant #2: (smiling) According to this, the flight wouldn’t begin boarding for almost 200 years!

(Kiyone suddenly is in horror. She takes the pass. Sure enough, the flight is scheduled for the year 2198. Kiyone drops the ticket in disbelief.)

Mihoshi: What is it? What’s wrong?

(Kiyone is too stunned to answer.)

----

(The plane is still in Tokyo, finishing up final preparations. Follow that with rapid shots to France.)
Chloe: (VO) Teams are making their way to Paris, France. Once there, they must find the route marker on the second floor observation deck of the Eiffel Tower. Yukino & Arima, Takato & Henry, and Syaoran & Meiling are aboard a flight.

(Syaoran is looking around for something on the plane.)

Meiling: What is it?

Syaoran: We lost another team.

Meiling: Really?

(Meiling stands up. She spies Takato & Henry in one part of the plane and Yukino & Arima in another.)

Meiling: Huh. Where’s the cops?

Syaoran: I’m going to go talk to Henry…

(Syaoran goes over to Henry, who was chatting with Takato.)

Henry: What’s up?

Syaoran: Did you see what happened to Kiyone and Mihoshi?

Henry: Why? Aren’t they on?

(Henry stands up and looks around.)

Henry: No way...

Takato: I didn’t see them buying tickets with us. Maybe they got lost.

Henry: How could they get lost? We were all bunched up together.

Syaoran: You don’t think they could have gotten a better flight, do you?

(Takato stands up as well. This catches Arima’s attention as he starts walking up to them.)

Henry: I can’t imagine anything being better than this. It’s a direct flight that we just barely got on.

Arima: Kiyone told me she got tickets for a Paris flight while she was on Mars.

Henry: Really?

Arima: Yeah. Of course I guess she didn’t think about…

Pilot: (VO) This is your captain speaking. We’re ready to take off, so please…

Arima: I’ll talk to you later.

(Arima and Syaoran each return to their seat as the plane begins to take off.)

Syaoran: Another team got left behind. We lost one on Mars and we lost another one in Tokyo. Now I’m really hoping this is an elimination leg. If those two teams are so far behind, then not only will one get eliminated now, but the other may not be able to catch up for the next one.

(Kiyone is seated at the gate, her hands buried in her face. Mihoshi silently sits next to her.)

Kiyone: Idiot… how could I do something like that?

Mihoshi: It’s okay… um… I don’t know how it’s okay but it’s okay.

Kiyone: Well we’re as good as eliminated now.

Mihoshi: Don’t say that! There’s always still a chance.

(Kiyone looks over at Mihoshi.)

Kiyone: How?

Mihoshi: Um… plane gets a flat tire?

Kiyone: We’re doomed. We’re never going to get to Paris in time and it’s all my fault.

Mihoshi: Kiyone, don’t worry about it. It’s a mistake anybody could have made! You just weren’t thinking fourth dimensionally.

Kiyone: Mihoshi, do you even know what fourth dimensionally means?

Mihoshi: Um…

Kiyone: Right now, I just want to take the next train back to Okayama because there’s no sense in going to Paris now.

(Kiyone continues to mope as Mihoshi walks away.)

Kiyone: (VO) I blew it. I completely blew it. I made a stupid mistake and I’m going to pay for it. What’s worse is that Mihoshi had nothing to do with this. I’ve been so accustomed to making up for all of Mihoshi’s mistakes that I don’t have a damn idea what to do when I screw up. And as much as I try to pin this on Mihoshi I can’t get around it- I screwed up.

(On the plane, Yukino and Arima are second-guessing their plans.)

Yukino: If you’re right, and you damn well better be, then Kiyone and Mihoshi are going to be a good ways behind.

Arima: And as far as we know, Brock and Ash are still on Mars.

Yukino: Right.

(Pause before Yukino speaks up again.)

Yukino: So why the hell are we taking the Fast Forward?

Arima: I don’t know.

Yukino: We’ve got two teams that are completely screwed. I say screw the Fast Forward.

Arima: Although we did promise Kiyone and Mihoshi that we’d take it.

Yukino: Yeah, but they’re so far behind that they’ll either need it themselves or we’ll never see them again anyway!

Arima: Okay. If anyone asks, we’re not using the Fast Forward because they need it more than we do this time.

Yukino: Sounds good to me.

(Kiyone hasn’t moved. She’s still reeling after her costly error. She looks around.)

Kiyone: Mihoshi? Mihoshi?

(Kiyone stands up, looking annoyed.)

Kiyone: Where’d she go this time?

(She shakes her head.)

Kiyone: No. I’m not going to worry about it. She can do whatever she wants. As far as I’m concerned, it’s over anyway.

(Mihoshi skips back towards Kiyone’s presence, with a cheery smile on her face.)

Mihoshi: Oh Kiyone!!

Kiyone: (annoyed) What?

Mihoshi: You seem a little down so I got you a present!

Kiyone: What is it this time?

Mihoshi: Well, for starters, a trip to Egypt!

(Kiyone shakes her head.)

Kiyone: I don’t want to go to Egypt. I don’t want to go anywhere…

Mihoshi: That’s okay, because an hour after we get to Egypt we have to fly to Paris anyway.

(Mihoshi pulls out the tickets. Kiyone blinks a few times.)

Kiyone: Wait… you mean…

Mihoshi: Everybody should go to Paris sometime, right? It’s our turn!

(Kiyone looks at the tickets.)

Kiyone: One-way economy class from Tokyo to Cairo… and then to Paris… I don’t believe this! How’d you get these?

Mihoshi: I asked the nice man at the counter that we need to get to Paris.

Kiyone: Mihoshi, you… you…

(Kiyone looks at the tickets even closer.)

Kiyone: You better start running because this takes off in twenty minutes!

(Kiyone grabs her bag and they run to the gate.)

Mihoshi: I couldn’t stand the sight of Kiyone sad like that. She usually doesn’t give up for anything. She’s been leading the way, and she’s taken us so far that we can’t stop now!

(They reach the gate and board the flight without issue. They take their seats, the plane takes off, and they are off to… Cairo. Kiyone is apparently still in her funk.)

Kiyone: It’s great that you got us on here, but it still doesn’t matter. They left an hour before us. And we have to make a connection. That’s a lot of ground to make up.

Mihoshi: Not necessarily. Aren’t you forgetting about something?

Kiyone: Like what? This has to be an elimination leg, and I doubt any of the other teams could screw up so much that we’d catch up.

Mihoshi: One team already has!

Kiyone: What do you mean?

Mihoshi: Ash and Brock are still on Mars, silly!

(Kiyone opens her eyes wide in realization. She faces forward.)

Kiyone: Holy smokes… I forgot all about them. This may not be over yet!

(Moscow. Establishing shot of a plane lands. Inside the airport. A random hallway, seemingly uninteresting. Regular patrons are passing by. They all stop to look as Inez, Ash, and Brock appear out of thin air. Inez seems annoyed.)

Inez: You boys have no idea how much of a hassle it was to get you here at the proper time after they landed.

(Brock takes Inez’s hands.)

Brock: Well, I’ll gladly listen to your explanation.

(Ash grabs Brock’s ear and drags him away.)

Ash: I knew this would come in handy.

(They look around for a desk to take them to France. Appropriately enough, they find Air France.)

Ash: (VO) It’s a little scary to be away from everybody else. We may have misjudged something and they’re all at the Pit Stop, or they may be stuck in Tokyo. We have no idea, and we probably won’t find out until we finish. At least not until we get to Paris.

(After some initial difficulties getting through the language barrier, they are able to confirm a flight. They walk away with their tickets.)

Brock: Well, we probably got in five hours after they did, but we have to wait another hour and a half for our flight. I guess it all depends on when their flight took off.

Ash: Hmm… if we spoke the same language I’d ask her when the latest Tokyo flight arrives.

Brock: And I’d ask her for her…

(Ash grabs Brock’s ear.)

Ash: You know, you’re really lucky Misty’s not here.

Brock: Ow… hurts just as much though.

(Montage of them boarding the flight, settling in, and the plane taking off. Overhead map of pretty much all of Eurasia. There’s dots for Paris, Cairo, Moscow, and Tokyo. Two lines are emerging from Tokyo- one to Paris, and one to Cairo. Another line goes from Moscow to Paris soon afterwards.)

(In Cairo, Kiyone and Mihoshi are at their gate, waiting to board. Kiyone is a little better. Both have cups of cappuccino.)

Kiyone: I guess the best we can do is go through this without making mistakes. I mean, didn’t those NERV Girls pull a miracle comeback once?

Mihoshi: That seems so long ago.

Kiyone: It does.

Mihoshi: Wait a minute, why don’t we just go for the Fast Forward? We have to use that eventually!

(Kiyone stands up.)

Kiyone: Yes!

(Kiyone sits down slowly, more depressed.)

Kiyone: Wait… Yukino and Arima said they’d take it.

Mihoshi: How do you know?

Kiyone: I talked to them on the shuttle. We agreed to let them take it this time and we could have it later.

Mihoshi: Uh huh…

(The flight begins boarding. Both stand up.)

Kiyone: So it makes no sense to go for it. We’d just be wasting our time.

Mihoshi: Well, shoot.

(Kiyone and Mihoshi continue boarding the plane.)

Mihoshi: I was pretty down to hear that Yukino and Arima were going for the Fast Forward. I mean, we need it a lot more than they do! Well, at least it was nice of them to tell Kiyone first.

(Shot of Kiyone and Mihoshi’s plane taking off, followed by shots of the interiors of the other two planes.)

----

(Paris. A plane lands… but which one? Out of the terminal comes… Ash and Brock. They come out, bags and all, and find a taxi.)

Brock: Well, we’re in France now. What do you think- first or last?

Ash: I think we should just get to the Eiffel Tower and just do the race.

(Brock nods in understanding.)

(After some driving, they get to the Eiffel Tower, which looks suspiciously like Tokyo Tower, only in France. Ash and Brock hop out of the cab and look at their clue.)

Brock: Says we should go to the observation deck on the second floor.

(After climbing up a whole heck of a lot of stairs, they reach the observation deck. Brock immediately begins looking for a route marker while Ash can’t help but run to the window and admire the view.)

Ash: Wow! This is beautiful!

Brock: There it is!

(Brock points out the route marker to Ash and both run to it. The marker is right next to one of them coin-operated telescopes.)

Ash: That’s even more beautiful…

(Both take a moment to reflect before opening it up. Inside…)

Brock: One, two, three, four… five envelopes!

(Brock takes one as Ash raises an arm.)

Ash: And that’s the most beautiful thing of all!!

(Brock smiles as he opens the envelope. Ash joins him.)
[ASH & BROCK- Currently in First Place]
Brock: Use your powers of observation to find the mansion as seen in the snapshot.

(Brock pulls out a snapshot of a long, fenced off mansion with a large red-and-yellow flag hanging from the roof.)

(Rapid shots of a taxi driving to the mansion.)

Chloe: (VO) Teams must find this mansion, the site of one of Kirika and Mireille’s first hits under the guise of Noir. They have only a picture, and according to the clue, the powers of observation to help them. It’s up to each team to use both properly to find the location.

(Ash and Brock look at the picture on their way down.)

Brock: I bet this is pretty recognizable.

Ash: If not, we’ll ask around.

(They climb into another taxi and take off.)

Brock: (VO) The thrill of being in first place lasted for about ten seconds. After that, we had to deal with this really tough clue. We had to find this one building in Paris using just a picture. Not an easy feat.

(They continue to wander aimlessly in the cab.)

Ash: Look, we’re not finding it, and we’re running up the meter.

Brock: Think we should get out and ask?

Ash: What do you think?

(Brock looks out the window. French babes at 2 o’clock. He gets out of the car.)

Ash: I’ll take that as a yes.

(Ash pays the driver and gets out. Brock is busy making his moves.)

(Plane number two lands and the mob exits the airport. Syaoran & Meiling end up behind Yukino & Arima.)

Meiling: Can you go faster?

(No response.)

Syaoran: Don’t worry about it. He knows where he’s going.

Meiling: Hold on.

(Meiling bends forward and starts making wild gestures in an effort to make him go faster. After some initial difficulties, the driver eventually seems to get the message.)

Meiling: Waugh!

(Meiling is about to topple over the back of the seat, but Syaoran catches her and pulls her back. She hugs him in appreciation.)

Meiling: Thanks for always saving me!

(Takato and Henry are a little nervous in their cab.)

Takato: He know where he’s going, right?

Henry: Takato, it’s the most recognizable landmark in the country. I wouldn’t be too worried.

(After an extensive amount of prodding, Ash and Brock finally find an old man who knows where it is. Problem- he’s French.)

Ash: We’re not getting anywhere just standing here.

Brock: We’ve got to get it from him somehow.

Ash: I know!

(Ash retrieves a map of the city and gives the man a pen. The man studies the map for awhile, then circles a spot. He also draws a line to it from where they currently are.)

Brock: Boy, we were way off!

Ash: Not anymore. Taxi!

(Syoaran and Meiling arrive at the awesome structure. They rush up the stairs to the observation deck. Both take a moment to admire the view.)

Meiling: (joking) I think I see my house from here.

Syaoran: Well, I see Yukino and Arima, so let’s go.

Meiling: (looking over) There’s the route marker.

(Syaoran and Meiling reach the marker and take the clue.)
[SYAORAN & MEILING- Currently in 2^nd Place]
Syaoran: …find the mansion as seen in the snapshot.

Meiling: Don’t we get any hints?

(Syaoran runs back to the stairs.)

Syaoran: I think this picture is our hint.

(Meiling follows, frowning.)

(They begin descending down the stairs, passing Yukino and Arima on the way.)

Yukino: Hey, where’s the marker?

(Syaoran and Meiling pass by without answering.)

Arima: Did you honestly expect them to tell us?

Yukino: It was worth a shot.

(They hear more ascending steps below them.)

Arima: Come on, we have to stay ahead of the Tamers.

(They reach the route marker. Yukino reads the clue.)
[YUKINO & ARIMA- Currently in 3^rd Place]
Yukino: Use your powers of observation to find the mansion as seen in the snapshot.

Arima: Powers of observation?

Yukino: Yeah… let’s get going.

Arima: Wait a minute. I think we’re supposed to stay up here.

Yukino: Why?

Arima: It’s an observation deck… shouldn’t we observe?

Yukino: Right! Our powers of observation are enhanced!

(Yukino begins looking out the window over the city.)

Yukino: Everything looks the same! I can’t tell which mansion we’re supposed to go to.

Arima: Well, there’s a flag on the picture.

(Arima notices the telescope)

Arima: Why don’t we use this? Do you have any change?

Yukino: Um…

(Yukino fishes around and pulls out a coin.)

Yukino: Good thing I bought that can of juice.

(Arima puts the coin in and looks through the lens.)

Yukino: Anything?

Arima: Hold on…

(Arima continues to search…)

Arima: There it is!

(Arima points straight forward. Yukino peers at the spot with her naked eyes.)

Yukino: Oh yeah…

(Behind them, Takato and Henry arrive on the deck. They see Arima peering through the lens and Yukino peering out the window.)
[TAKATO & HENRY- Currently in 4^th Place]
Henry: Over there.

(Yukino & Arima finish up and pass by. Yukino jots something down on her map as they head back to the stairs. Takato and Henry reach the route marker. Takato reads the clue.)

Henry: Okay. I guess this telescope is our powers of observation. Got any change?

Takato: Um… no… we told the taxi guy to keep the change. I think…

Henry: Well this is coin-operated.

Takato: Hold on…

(Takato pulls out a bill and starts to attempt to make change with everybody. Somebody seems to understand and pulls all the coins out of her wallet. Unfortunately, it’s not even half of what the bill is worth.)

Takato: Um… whatever…

(Takato takes the coins and gives her the bill. Takato returns and dumps the few coins into Henry’s hand.)

Henry: Where’s the rest?

Takato: Uh… processing fee?

(Henry shakes his head and puts a coin in the machine. Fortunately, Arima must have left the telescope in the same position, as Henry sees it immediately.)

Henry: Oh, there it is!

Takato: Sweet!

(Henry gets a feel for the general direction of the mansion and marks it on a map.)

Takato: Good?

Henry: Yep.

Takato: It’s amazing that, even with two teams seemingly out of it, we’re still competitive. We still want to finish ahead of Yukino and Arima. Practicing for the finals, I guess.

(Finally, Ash and Brock have found the mansion. They see the route marker outside.)

Ash: Thank God…

Brock: Detour- Face of Noir or Mark of Noir…

(The Detour envelope is being held up by a serving fork. A knife slashes the envelope open, spilling the card out.)
Chloe: (VO) It is said that one must never see the face of Noir while they are killing. Perhaps it is good that Kirika and Mireille have just recently finished an assignment. In this Detour, teams must choose between Face of Noir and Mark of Noir.

(Shot of a nice, quaint French neighborhood, and Chloe walking down the streets with her short purple hair and flowing robes.)

Chloe: In Face of Noir, teams must find this neighborhood, where Mireille’s flat is located. Using two dossier files and a camera, they must snap a picture of either Mireille Bouquet or Kirika Yuumura. Mireille will gladly pose for a picture, but is harder to locate, while Kirika is easier to find but less likely to smile for the camera. Once they get a picture, they must take it to me, where they will receive their next clue.

(Inside the mansion, the remnants of Noir’s last operation are lying on the ground in the form of dead bodies.)

Chloe: (VO) In Mark of Noir, teams will need to enter the mansion and count the number of casualties Kirika and Mireille were responsible for on their latest romp. When they reach a total, they’ll have to find me outside Mireille’s flat and tell me the exact number in order to receive the clue.

(Ash is mired in thought, but Brock is already hailing a taxi.)

Ash: Brock, wait a minute. I’m thinking about which one we should do!

Brock: I know which one we should do! Counting dead guys or taking pictures of beautiful women? That’s an easy choice!

(Now arriving- the plane from Cairo. It’s nearing evening when Kiyone and Mihoshi step onto French soil and hail a cab.)
[KIYONE & MIHOSHI- Currently in Last Place]

Kiyone: Okay, no mistakes now, got it?

Mihoshi: Got it!

(They plead for the driver to go faster as they make headway to the Eiffel Tower.)

(Yukino & Arima reach the mansion. Arima reads the clue.)
[YUKINO & ARIMA- 2^nd at Detour]
Arima: Mark of Noir… count the bodies inside the mansion. No thank you…

Yukino: Actually, I think we should do that one.

Arima: You’re kidding right?

Yukino: I don’t want to be stuck waiting around to take somebody’s picture. With counting, at least we know we’ll get done eventually.

Arima: But it sounds sick.

Yukino: We’ll just have to put up with it. C’mon, it can’t be that bad. How many people can two girls kill?

(They go inside the mansion. As soon as they walk in, there’s two bodies slumped against the wall. Arima tries not to look at it, and even Yukino’s a little freaked out.)

Yukino: Well… that’s one and two…

----

(Takato and Henry are at the Detour.)
[TAKATO & HENRY- 3^rd at Detour]
Takato: Ew… can we just take the picture?

(Henry looks over the clue further.)

Henry: Yeah. I think that’s the smart one anyway.

(They climb back into their awaiting taxi.)

Henry: I had a different reasoning for choosing the picture. It was a choice between staying here for the challenge or heading to Mireille’s place. We’d end up by Mireille’s either way, because you had to get the clue there. But if we screwed up the counting, we’d have to come all the way back here.

(Syaoran and Meiling still aren’t sure where to go. The taxi driver asks for directions using the picture. Whatever the conversation is, it seems to be fruitful as the driver makes a deliberate turn and starts to go faster.)

Meiling: I don’t know what that was, but I hope it was good.

Meiling: (VO) I’m not sure what happened. We must have missed something in the clue, because we had no idea where we were going. We were completely lost. It sucked!

(Yukino and Arima are still making their way through the mansion. They pass a trio of men, all wearing business suits… and bullet holes. Both Yukino and Arima have the willies as Yukino tallies them on a sheet of paper.)

Yukino: Nine… ten… eleven…

Arima: We really should have done the other one…

(Yukino raises her eyebrows and points to the bodies.)

Yukino: What… you want to meet the girls who did this?

Arima: Point taken… we haven’t been in that room yet.

(Ash and Brock are armed with a camera, and looking around for the address of Mireille’s flat. They are having a lot of trouble navigating the narrow streets.)

Ash: Um… it’s got to be one of these apartments.

(They enter an apartment building.)

Brock: Ash, check the mailboxes.

(They check the mailboxes on the wall, but nothing is labeled.)

Ash: Well, we could knock on every door…

(In the mansion, Arima bends down and picks up a pair of broken sunglasses.)

Arima: These are pretty expensive. Wonder where the other earpiece went.

(Arima glances at the dead body. The earpiece is lodged in his neck.)

Arima: Oh.

Yukino: Sixteen. I think we’ve been in every room. Ready to get out of here?

Arima: Yes please…

(Ash and Brock knock on random doors, disturbing everybody. Mireille finally pokes a gun out of one and aims it right at Ash and Brock. She looks at them.)

Mireille: Who are you?

(Ash is about to wet his pants. Brock sees Mireille and is about to… never mind.)

Brock: Mireille! Mind if we take your picture?

(Mireille puts the gun away angrily.)

Mireille: I guess so.

(Mireille smiles as Ash gets her picture. As soon as he does, she frowns and goes back into her apartment.)

(Syaoran & Meiling finally reach the Detour. They get out of the cab, in a fairly bad mood.)

Syaoran: Face of Noir or Mark of Noir…

Meiling: Hey, it’s Yukino and Arima… did they just get out of there?

(Syaoran reads through the clue as Meiling watches the two board a taxi and leave.)

Syaoran: They must have done Mark…

Meiling: And it took forever, let’s do Face.

Syaoran: Right.

(They get back into the cab.)

Syaoran: Could you follow them please?

(Kiyone and Mihoshi reach the Eiffel Tower. Kiyone reads the clue.)

Kiyone: Powers of observation to find this mansion…

Mihoshi: Kiyone, can I please get some change to look through this thing?

Kiyone: We can’t Mihoshi, we have to make up time!

Mihoshi: But Kiyone, when will we ever be here again… maybe I can find that mansion!!

(Kiyone sighs and relents, giving her some change.)

Kiyone: Fine… just make it fast.

(Mihoshi looks into the eyepiece as Kiyone sighs audibly. It’s getting dark out, but five seconds after Mihoshi looks in…)

Mihoshi: Found it!!

Kiyone: Found what?

Mihoshi: Look!

(Mihoshi steps aside and lets Kiyone look through. Kiyone compares it with her picture.)

Kiyone: That’s it!!

(Kiyone looks back out, then jots some stuff down on a map. She breaks into a sprint for the stairs.)

Kiyone: Mihoshi, you’re a genius!!

(Mihoshi, somewhat bashful, runs after Kiyone.)

Mihoshi: Well, I try!

(Takato and Henry see the expressionless Kirika walking down the street. Henry gets the camera ready.)

Henry: Okay, that’s her. Just tap her on the shoulder and when she turns around I’ll get her picture.

Takato: Got it.

(They move out. Takato approaches her and moves to tap her shoulder. Before he can, however, she grabs his arm, and pulls him over her shoulder in one clean jerk. She spins around, planting a knee in Takato’s stomach. She pulls a gun out of nowhere and points it directly at Takato’s forehead.)

Takato: Ha… ga… ga…

(She still has no expression.)

Henry: Hey! You’re, uh…

(Kirika looks up at Henry.)

Henry: You’re Japanese!

Kirika: Who are you?

Henry: I’m Henry and this is Takato. We’re, um, touring France. Do you, uh, mind if we take your picture?

(Kirika looks down at Takato. The gun is still pointed at his forehead.)

Kirika: Why?

Takato: Well… I, uh, want to have a memento of the girl who wants to kill me.

Henry: Please?

(After some contemplation, she stands up. Takato gets up as well and both stand next to each other as Henry gets ready to take the picture.)

Henry: Smile!

(Takato flashes a peace sign. Kirika manages a very light smile that’s almost unnoticeable. Henry takes the picture.)

Henry: Thank you!

(He and Takato run off. Kirika stands there, pondering the two.)

(Ash and Brock deliver the camera to Chloe. She looks for the picture, finds it, and smiles, handing them to clue.)

Chloe: Good work.

Ash: All right!

Brock: Hey, Ash, I see a taxi coming, move to the side.

(They move into an alley.)

Brock: We don’t want to let the other teams know we’re here.

Ash: Looks like Yukino and Arima. What’s the clue say?

Brock: Find this bench in the nearby park.

Ash: Excellent.

(They run off as Yukino and Arima get out of the cab. Yukino glances in their direction for a second.)

Yukino: Was that… nah…

(Rapid shots down the street to a park and a park bench.)
Chloe: (VO) Teams must find this bench in a park near Mireille’s apartment. The park is where Kirika and Mireille go to relax… and the bench often is a meeting place for obtaining key information.

(Yukino and Arima reach Chloe.)

Yukino: Please say the number’s sixteen.

(Chloe smiles.)

Chloe: Indeed. Very good.

(Chloe smiles as she hands the clue over.)

Chloe: Although I should point out that Kirika and I have done much better.

(Yukino and Arima are frozen stiff. Yukino eventually snatches the clue and they high-tail it out of there.)

(Right behind them, Syaoran and Meiling bounce out of the cab, grab a camera, and set off to find Kirika.)

Meiling: So how are we supposed to find this girl? She could be anywhere!

Syaoran: Don’t worry. We just have to keep our eyes open.

Meiling: I have a better idea… Henry!

(Takato and Henry are walking back.)

Henry: Yeah?

Meiling: Where’s that girl?

Henry: Back there a ways.

Takato: Watch out! She’ll try to kill you.

Meiling: Thanks!

(They reach Chloe and get their clue.)

(Ash and Brock, on foot, reach the bench. Ash reads the clue.)
[ASH & BROCK- Currently in First Place]
Ash: Road Block. This person must have good communication skills.)

Brock: Hey, I’m fluent in the language of love. Let it rip.

(Ash stares at Brock oddly and reads the clue.)

Ash: Oh boy… French is the language of love right?

Brock: Huh?

(Various shots of the park. Altena narrates.)
Altena: (VO) In this Road Block, one person from each team must talk to locals and translate the directions to the Pit Stop from French. However, since the Pit Stop’s location is a secret, revealed only to a select few, one person alone may not be allowed to translate all of the directions. Instead, each player must find five different people to translate five different segments of the directions.

(Ash ducks away as Yukino and Arima arrive at the Road Block.)

Yukino: This person must have good communications skills.

Arima: You know a little French, right?

Yukino: Very little…

Arima: Probably more than me. You do it.

Yukino: Okay…

(Yukino opens the card.)

(Syaoran and Meiling are tired when they report to Chloe.)

Chloe: Trouble getting a picture?

Meiling: Damn, she moves fast.

(Chloe presents them with the envelope.)

(Montage of shots as Yukino and Brock’s attempt to hunt down park patrons who can help them translate. Yukino’s basic knowledge of French is a slight advantage, but Brock is holding his own surprisingly well. Yukino sits down to see what she has.)

Yukino: Okay, I have “find a vehicle a block south of here, climb in and drive south...”

(She continues reading.)

Yukino: Just need one more.

(Takato and Henry have the Road Block envelope in front of them. They stare at each other for awhile, before Henry speaks up.)

Henry: I’ll do it.

(Henry reads the task.)

Henry: D’oh!

(Finally, Yukino gets the last piece of the puzzle.)

Yukino: …inside the church. The last team to arrive will be eliminated. Thank you!!

(Yukino heads back to her partner. She hugs Arima.)

Yukino: Got it! Come on!

Arima: Where are we going!?

(To the side, Ash snaps his fingers as Syaoran & Meiling arrive. Syaoran decides to do it.)

Ash: Brock, where are you?

(Brock, naturally, is wooing two girls who obviously look educated. Both speak pretty fluently, if not heavily accented.)

Girl 1: Look, you seem to be in a bind, so we’ll help you out if you leave.

(The first girl puts on her glasses and looks at the text.)

Brock: I need two people to translate this.

Girl 2: You’ve got two people right here.

(Brock’s ready to melt as the two girls give him the last two translations.)

(Kiyone and Mihoshi reach Mireille’s apartment door. Mireille answers.)

Kiyone: Mireille Bouquet? We’re from the Galaxy Police and we need your picture.

Mireille: The… police?

Mihoshi: Smile!

(Mireille is a little nervous as Mihoshi takes her picture. Kiyone smiles.)

Kiyone: Thank you!!

(The two walk away. Mireille calmly blows it off and goes back inside.)

(Takato and Meiling are waiting impatiently for their partners to return.)

Takato: C’mon Henry…

Meiling: C’mon Syaoran…

(They see somebody coming… their eyes bug out as they see that it’s Brock.)

Brock: Ash! I got it!

(Ash pops out from the bushes and runs up to Brock.)

Takato: You’ve gotta be…

Meiling: …kidding me.

(They look at each other as Ash and Brock head out.)

(Yukino and Arima arrive at another fleet of cars. Of all people, out pops Fujitaka Kinomoto.)

Fujitaka: Yukino? Arima? How are you two today?

Yukino: Uh… aren’t you Sakura’s Dad?

Fujitaka: Yeah. I’m here to verify that your translation is accurate before letting you go.

Yukino: I see…

(Yukino hands it over.)

Yukino: So why are you here? You know your daughter was eliminated, right?

Fujitaka: I know. But as a way to compensate the drivers, they promised us all a trip to France. We’ve all been here since you left for China!

Arima: Sounds pretty sweet.

Yuriko: (OS) That’s nothing.

(Yuriko Kanbara steps in from out of nowhere.)

Yuriko: They didn’t even need me to drive!

Yukino: Who are you?

Yuriko: Takuya’s mother.

(Arima sweatdrops as Fujitaka returns the clue to Yukino.)

Fujitaka: Looks good. You’re off.

(They pick a car and hop in.)

(Rapid shots of the car heading down the late-night highway to a large area out in the vineyards. Through a series of ruins lies a church, where Altena is standing.)
Altena: Having translated the clue, teams must drive themselves to this secret location in the Pyrenees Mountains. This ancient manor, lost in time, is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to arrive will be eliminated.

(Henry returns. He sighs.)

Takato: Did you get it?

Henry: Yeah. Took forever though.

Takato: Don’t worry. We’re almost there.

Henry: I wouldn’t count on it…

(Takato pats Meiling on the back.)

Takato: Don’t worry. The cops are still way behind!

(After Ash and Brock have already left, Takato and Henry arrive and take off.)

Henry: (VO) We were already exhausted. It was really stressful trying to get that whole thing translated. But to make matters worse, we have this incredibly long car trip ahead of us!

(Syaoran is clearly having troubles, as people are constantly walking by him.)

Syaoran: Um, excuse me…

(Another passes by.)

Syaoran: Could you?

(And a third…)

Syaoran: Hey…

(Nobody seems to want to listen to him.)

(Meiling is seriously fretting. To make matters worse, in come the cops.)

Mihoshi: Yes! Person!

Kiyone: Meiling, you have no idea how happy we are to see you.

Meiling (crying): Dammit Syaoran! Where are you!!??

(Both Mihoshi and Kiyone stare at her. Mihoshi finally breaks the silence.)

Mihoshi: Um… Kiyone, you can do the Road Block.

(Kiyone nods, reads the clue, and runs off.)

(Syaoran bumps into the same girls who helped Brock. They too help him out.)

Girl 1: Aw, you’re a little cutey…

Girl 2: Yeah. Just happy to help!

(Girl 2 kisses Syaoran on the cheek. He blushes severely before running back to Meiling.)

Meiling: There you are…

(Meiling runs up to him and hugs him, crying.)

Meiling: I was so worried.

Syaoran: It’s okay… but I need you for this last part.

Meiling: Why?

(They hustle over to the cars and Wei leads them to the Pit Stop.)

Meiling: I couldn’t believe it. I was ready to collapse and die, and we still had an eight-hour car trip ahead of us. I just wanted this leg to be over!

(Kiyone finishes up in due time and they take off as “Canta Per Me” starts in the background.)

(Steady montage of shots of all five teams making the long journey south. The directions are pretty clear, so nobody gets lost, but that doesn’t mean teams are doing well. Yukino and Arima pull over and change drivers.)
Arima: (VO) That last ride was incredibly difficult. We were all completely exhausted. I’m just glad that Yukino and I could take turns driving. We also pitted once in awhile. For the first time, we didn’t care about staying in first. We were willing to stop, spend money, and do what it took to stay focused.

(They reach Altena’s Manor, and follow a lit path a long, long way to inside the church. Altena is standing by the Pit Stop mat. The screen on the route marker reads “NOIR” in large green letters, with “THE MANOR” in small white letters. Yukino and Arima trudge their way to the mat. Altena smiles lightly.)

Altena: Yukino? Arima? Congratulations, you are team number one.

(Yukino is about ready to cry. She hugs Arima.)

Yukino: We made it. We finally made it…

Arima: And we’re not done yet…

(Janyuu is driving the Tamer’s car, and Henry’s in the front. He looks back. Takato’s asleep. Henry leans back to shake Takato.)

Henry: Takato! C’mon! Wake up! I need you here.

Takato: (drowsy) Hmm… what?

Henry: We’re almost there. But I’m not allowed to navigate when you’re asleep!

Takato: Oh… right…

(Takato sits up.)

Takato: So we’re almost there?

(Ash and Brock are also quite tired when they arrive at the Pit Stop.)

Altena: Ash and Brock… you’re team number two.

Ash: That makes it all worth it.

(Brock and Ash high-five.)

Brock: Good work. Finally- the upper half.

(Takato and Henry also stumble into the Pit Stop.)

Altena: Takato and Henry- you are team number three.

Takato: I’m now going be sleeping for eleven hours and forty minutes…

Altena: Excellent. I’ll have someone take you to your room. You’ll be staying in Kirika’s old room.

Takato: Oh… that’s encouraging.

(At the base of the vineyards. Syaoran and Meiling have the long path to travel.)

Meiling: No… I don’t think I can go any further.

(Syaoran un-straps his bag and sets it on the ground. He sighs.)

Syaoran: Hop on.

Meiling: Syaoran…

Syaoran: If you can’t make it, hop on.

(Meiling does so. The additional weight is clearly a lot, since Meiling is wearing her backpack and Syaoran is forced to drag his. He marches along, setting her down when they reach the church. They slowly walk up to the mat.)

Meiling: Heh… I’m walking down the aisle…

(They step on.)

Altena: Syaoran? Meiling? You’re team number four.

(Syaoran sighs in relief. Meiling simply falls over. Syaoran catches her.)

Meiling: Thanks Syaoran…

(And finally, Kiyone and Mihoshi trek across the path and reach the Pit Stop. Both are also exhausted. They greet Altena.)

Altena: Kiyone? Mihoshi?

(Mihoshi yawns.)

Altena: You are the last team to arrive. Regretfully, you have both been eliminated.

(Kiyone nods in acceptance. Mihoshi’s too far under to respond.)

Kiyone: You know, I’m both disappointed and pleased about all this. I’m disappointed that we couldn’t go farther. Especially after we did so well last time. And I’m also disappointed that my mistake did prove fatal. But I’m also pleased about something. I came in with the mentality that I could go as far as Mihoshi would let me. But in the end… it wasn’t one of Mihoshi’s mistakes that ended it. She helped me more often than she hurt me. And words can’t describe what that feels like.

Mihoshi: I don’t blame Kiyone for costing us the race. Kiyone’s the leader of the group. She’s the one who sees everything through. She’s the biggest reason we went so far. If it wasn’t for Kiyone, I’d have been eliminated even before Aeka and Sasami were!

Kiyone: I hate to say it, but it’s simply the truth- Mihoshi was fantastic. Especially in this last leg. She put everything into this race, and she proved to me that she can be a worthy ally. For the first time in my career, I’m proud to be her partner.

(Kiyone puts an arm around Mihoshi’s shoulder as they head off to get some sleep. Pan around to Altena, and a set of five candles behind her. The second candle to the left goes out, seemingly on its own.)

End Episode Eight

Author’s Notes
Yep, that’s right. Kiyone screwed up. Blasphemous as it was, it was something I wanted to do since I decided to cast them. Mihoshi takes so much heat, but I wanted to limit her “moments” to relatively insignificant stuff (although now that I think about it, Mary & Peach went to the wrong tower in Hong Kong during the second season and it cost them the race). All in all, Kiyone kept Mihoshi together and they ran a really good race until the fatal error. It was something different for them, and it was interesting to write Kiyone’s reaction.

This episode required quite the adjustment to make- in Nadesico there was a slew of characters, and I had to write it to squeeze in as many of them as I could. In Noir, there’s only four notable characters, not counting the slew of poor guys in business suits that end up dead.

On that note, it was interesting writing Chloe, as I had to keep in mind that she does not believe Mireille and Kirika comprise the true Noir. She thinks it’s herself and Kirika… and I just gave away the plot. Oh well, it’s not like one of my friends at NoBrandCon, who divulged an über, series ending spoiler to Tiffany Grant, who does the voice of Altena and who was still in the process of watching the series to develop a strategy for her character.

Sixteen is the total number of kills between the girls in the first episode. I probably should have used the episode featuring the mansion, but that one was only around six. They were mostly going for style, including the awesome sunglasses kill.

And finally, I must say that it’s very difficult to involve a series as dark and humorless as Noir into one of these stupid reality knockoffs. I intentionally left out the gratuitous product placement that usually goes with the series (anyone who watches knows the teams used Kodak brand digital cameras!) I apologize to any who feel I took away from the power of this truly great series. To be perfectly honest, I probably wouldn’t have used it if it weren’t for one thing- it’s one of the few series that isn’t centered in Japan!! Although speaking of which…

Next Week on the Anime-zing Race:
* Teams head to Chicago- guns, grenades, and all that jazz.
* Ash & Brock try to remain ahead in the race after their success in France.
* The four teams battle exhaustion as well as each other as they hit the stretch.