 After losing
his first match, America had one trusty method of recovering... ignore that the
sport existed.
 |
It's time for Part One of my brand
new series! "Let's Play Something Else!" |
Apparently there's a rec room in the village with a ping pong
table. America is dressed for the part, paddle and ball in hand.
 |
Millions are gathered here for the
first annual Allied Powers Invitational Ping Pong
Championship! |
 |
What? I'm the only one here. |
Yeah... it's just America and France. There's a banner on the
wall with a Budweiser logo reading "Allied Powers Invitational Ping
Pong Championship," but there's only two Allied Powers present.
 |
Yeah, Russia isn't back yet and
England wanted to get ready for his match tomorrow. |
 |
But what about- |
 |
I'll serve first! |
France shrugs and plays along. They're both quite solid and very
even. Finally, America triumphs!
 |
France's serve is out! America wins
the- |
 |
It caught the edge of the table! |
 |
The instant replay cameras say it
didn't! America wins the world championship! |
 |
I thought it was just between us
Allies. And even then, you know that- |
A new challenger emerges!
 |
I was walking outside and heard a
ping pong ball. Can I play? |
France snuggles up next to China and hands him a paddle.
 |
Absolutely! It's the Allied Powers
Invitational! And I invite you to face America for the
Championship! |
China analyzes the paddle with heavy scrutiny, feeling the rubber
and balancing it on his hand. He shrugs, satisfied enough. He takes
his position several feet behind his end of the table and stares
back at America, game face on.
 |
All right, but I won't go easy on
you! Do you want to serve first or should I? |
 |
I assure you it won't matter. |
It certainly doesn't. China's up 9-0 when Korea walks in.
 |
Awesome! Ping pong! Hey, Mr. France,
are you playing the next game or can I play the winner? |
 |
It's all yours, Korea. I think
China's settled this whole Allied Powers Invitational
farce. |
 |
Sweet! You know, I invented ping
pong! |
 |
*patronizing* I'm sure you
did. |
 |
*mid-shot* Actually, the game
was invented in England. |
 |
England? Nah, I'm gonna believe Korea
on this one. |
Anyway, China dispatches America in humiliating fashion and
welcomes the next challenger.
...and beats Korea 11-0 as well.
 |
Aw man, that was close. Bet I can
beat you in this next game! |
 |
Oh... all right. |
Once again, China wins 11-0. Scary thing is that Korea is good
enough to beat America or France easily. Those two can barely follow
the action on the table. France is keeping score with a helpful
nearby chalkboard, but can barely see the action.
 |
Hoo! One more! |
 |
I've had enough for one day. I'm sure
America or France will- |
 |
Conceding defeat already, Mr. China?
I'm disappointed. |
China rolls his eyes and beats Korea 11-0 again. Then he sets the
paddle down.
 |
Running away, eh? I'm just getting
started! |
 |
I've already shut you out three
times. |
 |
Gotta do better than that to stop me,
Mr. China! |
So he beats him 11-0 again and just walks away.
 |
Aw, come back here! I know you're not
a coward! Stay until you've beaten me fair and square!
|
|
|
China's not coming back. |
 |
All right, fine then! We'll call it a
draw! |
France adds a point to Korea's side.
 |
What was that for? |
 |
You know the rules: one point for a
draw. |
Day 8
Spain vs. Lithuania
England vs. Norway - Korea vs. Austria
Australia and Cuba aren't paid to cover ping pong.
 |
G'day everybody! Today we tackle
Group C, maybe the only alongside
Group A that could call itself the Group of Death. |
 |
Nah, it's too stuffy in there. I
mean, England, Norway and Austria? If it weren't for
Korea keeping things lively, everybody's either serious
or dismissive. |
 |
At least Austria's been competitive,
which makes this group completely up for grabs. Today
we'll settle things further with England against Norway
and Korea vs. Austria. |
 |
Two really promising matches, I'll
give you that. But the first one I'm not too sure about. |
 |
Can't blame you for not expecting a
lot out of Spain vs. Lithuania. Group D's Battle of the
Purples has been quite one-sided. |
 |
Battle of the Purples? |
 |
Right, Baltics vs. Mediterraneans. Ya
know, like Monopoly? |
 |
Never been a fan of Monopoly. Too
capitalist. But in Group D, I'd say these were the
two slackers in their first games. Spain let Latvia stay
in the game for the first sixty minutes, even letting
him tie it up at one point. While Lithuania was down 4-0
against Turkey before halftime. |
 |
Well, if neither side is able to
bring anything special, my money's on Spain. |
 |
Yeah, Spain on a bad day could still
beat half the teams in this tournament, but I still want
to see him really dominate one of these games before
picking him to go very far in the knockout stages. Don't
forget that he has to deal with Turkey to win the group. |
 |
Lithuania, meanwhile, is just hoping
he can improve on his performance last time. He looked a
little better in the second half, but it'll take much
more than that to trouble La Roja. Vietnam's caught up
with him in Hanover. |
She certainly has.
 |
So... Spain... what do you got for
him? |
 |
I'm just going to put a lot of focus
on defense, cross my fingers and hope for the best. |
 |
You do realize you pretty much need
to win to have any shot of advancing, right? |
 |
A win? I'll be lucky if I can pull
off a draw. Maybe if it's tied late in the game I'll
look for something, but this is about sheer survival. I
don't know how Latvia lasted as long as he did. I guess
not losing by three would be an improvement over the
last game. |
 |
You only lost by two in the last
game. |
 |
I did? I was so out of it that I
don't remember much of the second half against Turkey. |
 |
Considering that you scored twice and
kept him from scoring again, that might be a strategy to
consider today. Either way, good luck. |
He's gonna need it.
|
Day 8-
Hanover |
Match 21 |
Group D |
 |
SPAIN |
vs. |
LITHUANIA |
 |
Things start out fairly slowly in this one. Lithuania is indeed using a very
defensive formation and Spain takes some time to test it a little bit, without
really threatening the goal. When Lithuania gets the ball, he's primarily
concerned with bombing the ball into Spanish territory as soon as he can...
whether or not any of his players are there to receive it. They usually aren't.
Generally, the tactic works for Lithuania. Spain is constantly outnumbered
and has a difficult time finding the goal, while every so often, Lithuania does
get somebody forward for an attack.
 |
Lithuania moving up, he's going to
need help. Hey, there it is as a couple midfielders
join the effort. Passes to one at the edge of the box.
Shoots from there! Spain knocks it over the bar! |
 |
Not bad at all. So far, so good for
Lithuania. Let's see if he can do this for eighty more
minutes. |
Spain takes care of the corner easily and goes into his offense
again. Lithuania gets back quickly.
 |
Spain attacking from the right,
heading towards the box. Good challenge from Lithuania!
Spain loses it! Lithuania passes up to midfield and a
quick pass way up to his striker! Past the defense into
the box! Fires! He SCORES! Brilliant shot into the
corner of the net! Lithuania leads! |
 |
After struggling so much against
Turkey, Lithuania seems to have figured out the best way
to play this tournament! He's not exactly aggressive,
but he turns a chance steal into a huge goal! |
11' - GOAL (LTU) - Lithuania 1, Spain 0
Lithuania isn't sure how to react. On the sidelines, Poland and Estonia are
happy while Latvia is measured but calm.
Lithuania looks at Spain, who clicks his tongue and grins.
 |
Not too shabby. This could get good. |
 |
Please don't say that. |
Too late. Spain is totally calm about giving up the goal.
Lithuania is freaking out after scoring it. You know what that
means...
 |
Spain approaching the box from the
side. Deep cross! All the way over to the other side. He
chests it down and sends it back into the box. Drops
into the six-yard box! Sliding in- SCORES! An aerial
assault on Lithuania ties things up in a hurry! |
 |
Oh, what a nice goal. A little
misdirection to get Lithuania out of position and once
the ball's in place, Spain uses his athleticism to beat
the defense to it and send it home. Lithuania seems to
have the right tactics today, but execution and skill is
still a question mark. |
14' - GOAL (ESP) - Lithuania 1, Spain 1
Spain tries to find something after that, but Lithuania continues to focus on
defense, rushing forward only when he can get the ball down there first.
 |
Ball stolen by Lithuania and here we
go again! Down the sidelines, crosses it in but nobody's
home. Spain gets it and oh, here he is! Lithuania nabs
it in the box! Shot! Spain tips it away and clears it
for certain. |
Lithuania gets another opportunity with a cross, headed off the
post. Spain gets it back.
 |
Spain on the move again. To the side.
There's a cross in. Lithuania's there and chests it...
oh, bad bounce. Tries to get there but Spain's first!
Dribbles, shoots, GOAL! Spain has the lead! |
 |
Yep, Lithuania couldn't get control
of that one and again Spain beats him to pick up the
scraps. Universe is starting to straighten itself out
now and Spain's running the show. |
19' - GOAL (ESP) - Spain 2, Lithuania 1
Spain really starts to take control. With Lithuania holed up on defense,
he takes his time to work things out, kill some clock and set up some good
opportunities. Most importantly, he's using a more balanced approach, so when
Lithuania does steal the ball, Spain is usually able to deal with it. Still,
Lithuania gets it enough to instill some fear.
 |
Lithuania only gets a few men for
this counter-attack. |
 |
Doesn't seem quite as organized this
time, but he's moving it at least. |
 |
Oi, he is. Gets off a cross... and a
header but it's over the bar! |
As the half moves on, Lithuania starts to possess it a little
more. He doesn't really pursue a goal, so Spain isn't as interested
in attempting a steal and a counter-attack. Mostly he's just trying
to kill time.
 |
Just over five minutes left in the
half. Lithuania's holding his own with possession.
Nobody itching to score though. |
 |
Lithuania's done enough to keep Spain
from trampling all over him. Right now, he'll settle for
going into halftime only down by one. |
 |
Or not, he's moving forward, getting
some numbers. Sharp pass collected just out of the box!
Takes a long shot! Past the keeper! Off the post! Spain
gets it back. |
 |
Wow... that was close. Nice work on
that one. Even Spain's wondering how that got by. |
In fact, Spain tries for one more just before halftime, heading a
shot just wide before the whistle. Spain is generally
satisfied, but knows he can do better. Lithuania actually walks off
under his own power this time, feeling like he's still in the game.
 |
So Spain leads 2-1 at halftime. Feels
like both sides have left some opportunities on the
table. |
 |
It does. At the very least, Lithuania
is forcing Spain to play this his way. It's not exciting
football, but even the fact that Spain has been
respecting Lithuania is a bit of a victory. |
 |
It's a big victory that translates
well for him in the second half. Way the first half
played out, it's quite possible for Lithuania to steal a
point here. |
 |
It is. Spain's got a big decision to
make. Against Latvia, he really opened things up and was
able to score at will late in the game. Hard to say that
he'll be able to do that against Lithuania's defense,
but sitting back and going totally defensive is risky too
with only a one goal lead. |
 |
Killing time with a defensive
mentality sure isn't Spain's cup of tea either. It would
force Lithuania to take the offensive, so both sides
would be equally uncomfortable. Should be an interesting
second half. Let's get to it. |
Spain generally does neither in the opening minutes, focusing
more on keeping possession and looking for chances as they develop
without devoting too much manpower to it. Three minutes in, he sees
something.
 |
Spain at midfield, fires forward!
Bounces one over the defense! He's onside into the box!
Open shot at the goal! Off the post! Lithuania survives. |
A few averted threats later, Lithuania has settled down and is
getting comfortable. He gets a few looks, but Spain rises to the
challenge and takes care of it. Spain has his chances as well, but
nothing seems to be falling. Either the goalkeepers make quick work
of things or the crossbar and posts do.
Finally, after playing Spain very evenly for most of the half, Lithuania
starts to tire and Spain works harder to seize control of the game, challenging
more aggressively and going for steals. Again, he's not forcing his way into the
box, but he'll take shots if he senses something. Lithuania is shut out for
several minutes.
Finally, Spain goes a little too far.
 |
Spain sending some guys forward now,
trying to develop something, but Lithuania challenges.
Gets it! Shoots it forward quickly and has some running
room. |
 |
It's like he's running away from the
defense. And it's working! Into the box! |
 |
Spain in to defend. Tough shot from
Lithuania right at the keeper. No trouble there. |
 |
Yeah, I think Spain had more control
over that than it looked. There's a few nations out
there that might have hit that shot, but not Lithuania. |
But the ball is still on Spain's half.
 |
Spain trying to get it across
midfield. Can't! Lithuania takes over. Gets one to the
sidelines for a cross! Has room for a header! Off the
post! Spain clears it away. |
 |
Man, everything's just missing today! |
Still, Lithuania is getting some momentum and keeping the ball in
his attacking third. He starts to get more and more shots, but
everything seems to go wide, over, off the post or straight at the
keeper.
Spain's doing what he can to put out the fire, drawing a yellow card in the
process. During the play stoppage, he is able to position himself better and
both take and keep possession.
It works, and Spain starts to have a little more control, but Lithuania is
still able to threaten when he gets the ball back.
 |
Spain trying to clear this out,
settles for giving up a corner. Surprising he needed to
do that, but it seems like Lithuania's really brought
the fight to Spain in the second half. |
 |
This might be one of those situations
where he's just playing out of his mind right now. I
don't think Spain was ready to play someone this
relentless and I don't think Lithuania's realized how
relentless he is today. |
 |
More like survival mode. Here's the
corner. Finds a head! Oh, Spain's defender just got a
leg up to stop that one! He clears it but Lithuania this
close to equalizing. |
With the corner putting everybody on Spain's side, Lithuania is
able to keep it up.
 |
Lithuania trying the outside now.
|
 |
Spain starting to put a few more on
defense now. Ten minutes left and he just wants to hold
this lead. |
 |
Crosses it in! Shot's blocked but the
keeper can't hold it! Lithuania shoots it again! Keeper
gets there and knocks it away! How did he get back there
in time?! |
Finally, Spain's able to take a steal all the way down for an
impressive open shot that Lithuania struggles to handle. This sends
things back to Earth. Lithuania continues to push, but now keeps an
eye over his shoulder. Spain can feel it now.
 |
Spain gets it back and charges
forward. Into the final minute now. Passes it around,
staying away from Lithuania. |
 |
Running out of time now. This could
do it. |
 |
Sends it to the defenders, crosses
the pitch, then back forward again. Around in a circle
and there's the whistle! Lithuania really tests him, but
Spain survives with his second win of the tournament! |
 |
What a match. You gotta be proud of
Lithuania's effort there. He was in this one until the
end. |
Spain smiles and pats Lithuania on the shoulder before running
in. Lithuania looks up at the final score. He felt like he reached a
new level, keeping someone like Spain on his toes and playing a
strong game with plenty of scoring opportunities.
It left him even more depressed. After all that, he ended up with absolutely
nothing and virtually no chance of advancing.
|
Day
8- Hanover |
Match 21 |
Group D |
 |
SPAIN |
2:1
FT |
LITHUANIA |
 |
14'
19' |
Torres
Raśl |
Referee THA |
Jankauskas |
11' |
Afterwards, Spain is happy to chat with Vietnam.
 |
Spain, another win but still not a convincing one. |
 |
I know! That guy really brought it
this time. It's nice knowing that everybody brings their
best game when they play me. |
 |
The question is are you bringing your
best? |
 |
Trying to. Fact is I don't take any
of these guys lightly, but I'm not going out of my
way to really drive the point home and go up by two or
three. Not when he scored on that counter. I did what I
had to, and I'm thrilled to come away with the win. |
 |
But now the real challenge begins
with Turkey coming up next. |
 |
Oh yeah! That's gonna be great! I'm
going to grab a shower, take a siesta and get ready to
watch that guy against Latvia tomorrow. This is where
the real fun begins! |
 |
Long as you realize that. Congrats on
the win. Australia? |
 |
Thank you, Vietnam. Well, Cuba, which
was it? Spain slacking off again or just a gutsy
performance from a guy who ain't usually so gutsy? |
 |
You know, I'm glad I don't have any
credibility to begin with, because I'd be throwing it
out when I say that Lithuania raised his game to Spain's
level today. It wasn't the best game we'll ever see from
Spain, but it really might have been for Lithuania. |
 |
Felt like he should have gotten a
point out of this game. |
 |
Lithuania absolutely deserved a point
from this game. But too many of his shots went wide and
the post wasn't very forgiving today. Sadly, unless
Latvia beats Turkey tomorrow, Lithuania will be
eliminated from the tournament. |
 |
Likewise, unless Latvia beats Turkey
tomorrow, Spain will have punched his ticket to the next
round. Like you said, not his best performance, but he
did just enough to get three points and there were many
spots in that game where he had more control than it
appeared. |
 |
Yeah, credit Spain for bearing down
and meeting the challenge. He wasn't expecting a hard
fight today, but made sure to gut it out anyway. |
 |
Nobody's expecting less than a hard
fight in our second match as England faces Norway.
England the clear favorites in Group C, but had to
settle for a disappointing 2-2 draw against Austria.
Norway though looked stellar in his big win over Korea. |
 |
This should be a helluva match. We
know how much talent England has and Norway was
downright surgical against Korea. Don't expect a lot of
scoring here, but we should be in for some fantastic
football this evening. |
 |
Taiwan caught up with England before
the match. Taiwan? |
Taiwan is in Gelsenkirchen with England.
 |
It's been a rough week for you after
only getting one point in your first match. How do you
rebound against a team like Norway? |
 |
Well, I'm pissed off. Everyone writes
me off for only drawing against Austria and says
Norway's the 'hot upset' pick, whatever the hell that
means. I just have to remind everybody how I play
football. |
 |
I'm sure you had time to dissect
Norway's match with Korea. Does it help to know exactly
what he's capable of? |
 |
Absolutely. He's very tactical, so
I've spent a good part of the week planning some tactics
of my own. My countrymen won't be let down tonight. |
 |
Actually, reports are that your
countrymen are betting on Norway by a two-to-one margin. |
 |
Damn those stupid gits! I'll show
them! |
England marches off, enraged. With any luck, he'll take it out on
Norway and not his media contingency.
|
Day 8-
Gelsenkirchen |
Match 22 |
Group C |
 |
ENGLAND |
vs. |
NORWAY |
 |
The game starts out pretty vertically as both sides falsely assume the other
is going to hold back and see what develops. There's a number of shots on both
ends, but none are really all that scary. Finally, after scaring England a
couple times, Norway sits back, content with returning to his normal defensive
tactics.
It generally works, as England isn't able to hold the ball for long. Neither
is Norway, but he seems to be fine with that at first. He has lost all interest
in attacking, just like the start of his last game.
In particular, Norway uses the offside trap extensively. England moves the
ball quickly, and it catches him three times over the course of the first
fifteen minutes.
 |
Looks like Norway's content on
frustrating England to start the game. It worked really
well against Korea and it seems to be working here. |
With England right pissed off, Norway starts to pursue downfield,
but England doesn't have any trouble stopping him.
Then he charges further.
 |
England moving forward despite heavy
pressure from Norway's midfield. |
 |
He's trying to get farther for a
cross, but... well, okay, he just fired it there. |
 |
To the top of the box. Long header!
Tipped up against the crossbar! Defender heads it clear! |
 |
Norway dealt with that confidently.
One false move with that header and it's an own goal.
|

It was a little too close though, and Norway slowly presses forward and plays
possession for several minutes. He even gets a couple more shots off, one an
impressive breakaway that required a good save from England.
Eventually England pushes back.
 |
More pressure along the sidelines as
Norway tries to prevent a cross. |
 |
England going to try it anyway from
long range. Again, there's someone in the box! |
 |
Norway's there too and chests the
ball down. Kicks to clear but England jumps in front of
it! Blocked the clearance, gets to the ball and shoots!
SCORES! England with a head's up play! He's on the board
first! |
 |
Excellent read by England! A rare
mistake for Norway not to see where he was, but England
jumps in front of it, the clearance bounces off his
chest and he rushes up and knocks it in past the keeper! |

18' - GOAL (ENG) - England 1, Norway 0
Now Norway has to equalize. He dials up the offense a little more, but
England anticipates it and is more than ready. Applying added pressure disrupts
Norway's timing... which was the main thing he had going for him.
With Norway's attack phase thwarted, England starts to pick up speed,
stretching his crosses more and more. Norway buckles down, not entirely sure
where the next attack is coming from.
 |
Another long cross from England, but
well directed into the six-yard box! The header... falls
down dead. |
|
|
Cuba's too busy laughing in the
background to comment. |
 |
Bounces past the defense... and the
keeper!! Tries to pick it up. England gets a leg in
there! Keeper knocks it out for a corner. You all right
there? |
 |
I'm sorry... great cross, but just an
awful header. So bad it got past the defenders while
they were snickering, I think. |
 |
Anyway, it is a corner kick. Shot's
away and deep, curling out. Headed IN! England connects
past the far post and it's 2-0! |
 |
Yet another corner kick goal for
England! That's his third of the tournament! Norway's
been good about limiting his chances, but that one could
have been prevented, so naturally that's the one that
costs him. |
24' - GOAL (ENG) - England 2, Norway 0
For all the skeptics back home, England has plenty of fans in the crowd and
they're back on his side. One look at all the cheering fairy creatures along the
sidelines reassures him further.
Norway looks over at the sidelines as well, but the troll there just shrugs.
 |
Some help you are. |
England is really in command now, playing both offense and
defense well. Norway plays smart and creates some opportunities, but
England is just playing well, denying second chances and getting
dangerously close to a third goal.
As a result, Norway starts to show some frustration, becoming a little more
aggressive than he'd otherwise be. After failing mightily at generating an
offense with that attitude, eventually he keeps the ball long enough to force
England to react by attrition.
Just when he's starting to get the momentum back, England swoops in and takes
out his leg near midfield.
 |
That's a yellow, England. Watch
yourself! |
 |
How can you book me for that? I was
playing the ball. |
 |
You kinda missed. By a few seconds. |
 |
Hmph. Call the foul if you must, but
a card? |
 |
I can make it red. |
 |
Can I kick this thing or not? |
 |
Yeah, let's go. Ten yards, England. |
Norway goes nowhere. The brief stoppage disrupted Norway's timing
again. England wrests control away and starts to possess again,
earning another corner kick.
 |
Another corner kick for England now.
Tense moment as we get close to halftime. Kick's away.
Has a head... no, he fakes! To a second- SCORES! ANOTHER
corner kick goal for England! |
 |
Same trick he used against Austria,
but he's got Norway so frustrated that it still worked.
I hope that anyone playing England from now until the
end of the tournament circles corner kick defense on
their list of things to practice. |

41' - GOAL (ENG) - England 3, Norway 0
Norway tries for a bit, but England shuts it down and goes into the locker
room quite happy.
Norway gets a date with Taiwan.
 |
A disappointing first half Norway,
how's he been able to get the drop on you and what has
to change in the second half? |
 |
*bitter* He scored three damn
goals and in the second half, I'll need to score three
damn goals instead. Good enough answer for you? |
 |
I'm more interested in tactics. |
 |
I'm interested in tactics that'll
work for once. I'll keep you posted. |
Norway walks off. That's all she's getting.
 |
That didn't reveal as much as I'd
hope. Cuba, care to shed some light on this? |
 |
England's kicking him in the fjords
right now. Norway's trying to get his game started and
England's just not letting him. |
 |
Where was this level of domination in
the Austria game? |
 |
Austria caught England by surprise by
being surprisingly aggressive. With the way he beat
Korea, Norway's not going to surprise anybody. England
was clearly ready for this game. |
 |
Let's see if Norway can find a way to
turn the tide or if England will stay on the ball here. |
England starts out the second half strong. Whatever Norway's plan was,
England won't give him the ball to execute it.
 |
England down again. Gets a quick
cross off! Headed straight into the defense! Ball's
loose in the box, England dives in. HEADS IT HOME! A
demoralizing fourth goal to start the second half! |
 |
Oh, that was almost unfair. Norway
comes out ready to try something different and England
just charges down and delivers what has to be a fatal
blow. |
 |
Oi, Norway scored four in the second
half against Korea, but Korea wasn't nursing a four-nil
lead. That's a dagger right there. |
47' - GOAL (ENG) - England 4, Norway 0
England apparently wants to drive the point home while he's still at the
wheel, hitting the crossbar on another threat minutes later.
Norway gets a little more desperate and a little more frantic, but England is
prepared and settles into a mostly defensive approach after the early fireworks.
Doesn't mean it's completely devoid of opportunities.
 |
Norway trying to find a way past this
defense. Tries a long ball into the box. Quick one-two
shot! Off the post! England clears it out and it'll be a
throw-in. |
With the relentless approach not particularly suitable, Norway
settles, holds the ball for a while and tries to lull England to
sleep. It doesn't work. England remains focused and confident while
Norway just ends up wasting time.
England suddenly goes on the attack again, just because it's fun.
 |
England going forward quickly, what's
all this about? |
 |
Sees an opportunity. Norway's really
out of sorts now and England must want another one. |
 |
Oh, Norway gets it back and moves
forward. Great counterattack opportunity here! Passes
up. Great pass! It's a breakaway! Into the box! The
shot! Oh, a great diving save by the keeper! |
This was the warning shot England needed to sit back and ride the
game out. Norway keeps trying, but England plays great defense and
denies any opportunities for the rest of the game.
Almost the rest of the game. Norway starts to get some threatening shots into
the box with less than five minutes left.
 |
Norway with a long ball into the box.
Gets it! Turns around quick. Past a defender, takes a
shot! Off the keeper! Ball bounces to a second Norway
striker! Knocks it in! Norway with a consolation goal! |
 |
It's a nice goal and something to
build off of, but I don't think it'll be all that
reassuring. Norway released some frustration there, but
he still knows he got it handed to him today. |
87' - GOAL (NOR) - England 4, Norway 1
There are a few more potshots here and there, but the game ends and England
finally gets something to cheer about. He proudly takes a bow for his people,
his imaginary friends and the damn media who will still find something to argue
about.
Norway just bows out.
|
Day
8- Gelsenkirchen |
Match 22 |
Group C |
 |
ENGLAND |
4:1
FT |
NORWAY |
 |
18'
24'
41'
46' |
Rooney
Cole
Owen
Owen |
Referee CMR |
Rushfeldt |
87' |
Australia and Cuba may finally have some answers for us.
 |
Well, our first match turned out to
be more exciting than anyone could have predicted, while
the second match... oi, England had this one all the
way, mate. |
 |
He did, exposing a lot of Norway's
faults in the process. Norway didn't try to play all
that differently than he did against Korea and England
was well prepared for it. Good scouting job and
preparation as well as adjustments. England didn't hole
up in the second half the way he did in the first
game. He made sure to keep Norway on his toes and took
advantage of his instinct to play defense. |
 |
Norway didn't play all that poorly,
but... |
 |
Sometimes he did. You could tell he
cracked a little under the pressure, much as he won't
let on. But you're right, Norway didn't come out looking
flat or anything. He was just outgunned today. |
 |
With his win in the first game,
Norway's still in the hunt and can advance by beating
Austria in his next game. Austria, meanwhile, gets to
deal with Korea in our final match of the day. |
 |
This one's more even than it looks.
Korea has all the World Cup credentials and experience,
so you'd think he'd be a lock, but Austria held his own
quite nicely in his draw against England. In fact,
rankings-wise, they're about even. |
 |
Austria also has one thing Korea
doesn't have- a point. Korea already picked up a loss
against Norway. One more will put him out of the
tournament. |
 |
Should be a good contrast of styles
here. Vietnam caught up with Austria before the show. |
Vietnam is with Austria in Stuttgart. Let's hope France doesn't
interfere this time.
 |
After getting a point off top seed
England, Korea is next on the table, desperate for a
win. How do you approach this game? |
 |
Actually, I like how I match up
against Korea. He may have more World Cup experience
lately, but I'm used to playing the best of Europe all
the time. Strong teams do not scare me so much. Plus,
since I did just co-host the Euro championship, the
least I can do is learn something from it. |
 |
Did Norway's style help you figure
out ways to play Korea? |
 |
Yes, it did. Norway and I have
similar mindsets, although I try not to be quite as
defensive. Still, weathering the storm of Korea's attack
before launching your own seems to be key. |
 |
Will Hungary be upset if he tries to
grope you? |
 |
*annoyed*
If he does, Hungary will probably invite him for tea. |
Enough chit-chat. Time for the culture clash to begin!
|
Day 8-
Stuttgart |
Match 23 |
Group C |
 |
KOREA |
vs. |
AUSTRIA |
 |
Anyone notice that they kinda look alike in their icons? Like twins with
completely opposite personalities.
It's no surprise that Korea's aggressive early. It is a surprise that the
aggression is coming on defense.
 |
Austria cautiously moving forward,
but Korea's on him hard! Marking him heavily. Austria
passes and Korea intercepts. |
Yes, Korea marking Austria, with two men whenever possible.
Austria has no room to maneuver and struggles to generate an offense
early.
It's a risky strategy, and Austria occasionally finds a hole, but Korea seems
to pull it off beautifully. Offensively, he's right in the mix as well.
 |
Korea at midfield, not wasting time
with this offensive. Long cross to the side, struck
immediately into the box! Has a man who heads it! IT'S
IN! Korea strikes early with a clockwork goal into the
near post! |
 |
I wanna see the replay to confirm
this, but from about forty yards out to the goal line,
that ball did not touch the ground. The cross into the
box was handled in mid-air. Great set-up, great delivery
and Austria was just frozen in the goal. |

9' - GOAL (KOR) - Korea 1, Austria 0
Despite the early lead, Korea's aggressive defense becomes the story as it
generates turnovers and fuels his offense.
 |
Austria into the box, no! Korea bombs
it deep across midfield! Crosses into the box himself!
Austria's back to head it away. Weak header goes to
Korea! Takes the shot! No, it's over the bar! |
 |
Korea is really on fire in the first
fifteen minutes! I don't know if he can keep this up the
whole game, but at the rate he's going, he won't need
to. |
 |
If anyone can keep up this intensity
all game, it's Korea. |
Austria seems to be in a fix here. Korea's marking and
double-teaming should leave other Austrian players unchecked, but
Austria can't find them in time. Not only that, but when a ball gets
loose, Korea always seems to be able to get there first, especially
in his defending half.
When Austria's on defense, he uses a zone-oriented strategy, making sure
sections of the pitch are guarded sufficiently and not being fooled by Korea's
quick passing. While Korea's intensity is working for him on defense, Austria is
relying on his discipline.
After all, with all that intensity, eventually he'd make a mistake.
 |
Austria passing it up quickly, passes
into the box but Korea squeezes it out of there.
Clearance is deflected off Austria!! Quick shot! GOAL!
Austria ties it on a lucky deflection and a good bounce! |
 |
Lucky is right, but Korea got hasty
in that clearance. We've seen it time and time again in
this tournament where teams try to get it out of there
without making sure the road's cleared. Austria didn't
try to jump in front of it like England did in the last
game, but it's a big goal nonetheless. |
22' - GOAL (AUT) - Korea 1, Austria 1
Korea responds with an offensive blitz of his own. Austria holds up on
defense, but concedes a pair of corner kicks.
 |
Korea earns another one here! Not
wasting any time trying to retake the lead. Kick's away,
another very high cross! Austria chests it down. Tries
to clear, he whiffs it! Korea sneaks in! SCORES! Korea
back in front in a jiffy! |
 |
In the chaos of the set piece, a big
mistake for Austria on defense. Had control, had room to
clear it and he just missed it. That's now three corner
kick goals allowed by Austria in this tournament. There
was some English magic in the first two, but just an
uncharacteristic goof on this one. |
23' - GOAL (KOR) - Korea 2, Austria 1
Once again, the defenses take charge and settle things down. Austria remains
focused despite the setback and holds off Korea's attack. Korea meanwhile keeps
his attack up when playing defense. Mostly deterred, Austria is slowly wearing
him down.
 |
Austria dribbling around, trying to
get some room. Korea's on him hard! |
 |
Really gunning for him, trying to
prevent that cross. |
 |
Austria lets one fly into the box.
Not a great one, but he gets a head on it! Towards goal!
Off the crossbar! Korea gets it out of there. |
Lucky that Austria got the cross off to begin with, but Korea takes it as a
warning sign. His spirit seems to grow a little and he tries to step things up
on offense.
Austria remains in position and is ready for the challenge, but the added
pressure forces him to mark a little bit as well. Tackling a little harder,
Austria draws more fouls. So does Korea on the other end as he does his best to
prevent Austria from finding openings. For a few minutes, things get a little
hacky, but Sealand sticks to verbal warnings rather than whipping out cards left
and right.
 |
Korea gets it back, clears deep but
right to Austria at midfield. Austria moving forward
quickly... and Korea slides in and takes him out. A very
hard tackle there. |
 |
We've gotta see a card for that one.
Kid's starting to lose control of this game. |
|
|
Sealand does produce a card. A big
red one. |
 |
It's a straight red! Korea's sent
off! He loses a man in the 35th minute! |
 |
Oh, that's... I dunno, that's a bit
much. A yellow absolutely, but to let all that slide and
give this a straight red? Not feeling the love there. |
 |
It was a very dangerous tackle. Maybe
a touch harsh, but it could have gone either way. Korea
not happy with the official's decision. |
 |
He shouldn't be! This is awful! He's
got to play the rest of the game a man down in a game
that could eliminate him. |
 |
Aw, come on! You've been letting
everything else slide! You're giving me a red for that? |
 |
I saw the cleats come up. I
can't excuse that! |
 |
Something tells me Sealand's not
going to be scheduled to ref Korea's next match. |
 |
I should hope not. He plays England. |
Anyway, despite the protests, the game continues. The way Korea
has been double-teaming Austria, the lack of a player severely
limits his ability to play defense. Austria jumps on this.
 |
Austria kicks it towards the box, but
Korea gets it out of there. Loose ball... Austria gets
it! |
 |
Starting to see that man advantage
come into play. Korea had been getting those all game
until now. |
 |
Austria crosses it in. Korea knocks
it down, but can't clear it! Austria slides in! SCORES!
Austria takes his advantage and equalizes in a hurry! |
 |
Yep, this could be trouble, all
right. You can see Korea's just not as effective on
defense when he's not at full strength. Still probably
could have been dealt with it better, but Korea's back is
to the wall now. |

39' - GOAL (AUT) - Korea 2, Austria 2
Both sides stay intense until the halftime whistle, each earning a yellow for
good measure. Korea forces a couple close calls, but the score remains tied at
halftime.
 |
Very even match at halftime, but how
long can Korea last down a man? |
 |
I'm worried for him. I really am. His
style was so aggressive and I don't know if he has the
stamina to keep it up, especially down a player. |
 |
Does he continue to double-team the
way he had or will he have to play more single coverage
now? |
 |
I think he can still double-team the
ball-carrier, but he has less room for error. If Austria
is able to run his offense, Korea will have holes all
over the place. |
 |
Worth pointing out this is the second
straight game where Korea's seen a red card. Think he
should play for the draw or keep gunning for the win? |
 |
Hard to say. He really needs a win to
stay alive in the group, and a defensive approach has
never really been his style. I'd like to see him take a
few calculated risks here and there. |
 |
Well, let's get back out for the
second half. |
Surprisingly, Korea charges out of the locker room and is all
offense to start things out.
 |
Korea barreling forward! Past the
Austrian defender for a cross! Into the box! Takes a
shot! Keeper got a piece. It's a corner. |
 |
Man, and we were afraid he'd abandon
his offense? This guy's crazy. Down a man to start the
half and he's totally stacking. |
 |
One point just isn't enough for him,
I suppose. There's the corner kick... finds a head, but
the keeper finds it. Can't hold it! Ball drops in front
of Korea! Open shot- SCORES! |
 |
What a start! What a start for Korea!
Just abandons all fear and guns it and it pays off
beautifully! Scores in the first minute of the second
half! |
 |
And yet another corner kick goal
allowed by Austria. |
 |
Whatever, great job, Korea! Now you
better quit that and play some damn defense. |

46' - GOAL (KOR) - Korea 3, Austria 2
Korea's a little nuts, but he's not that crazy. Mission completed and
recharged, he steps back to face whatever counter-attack Austria has.
Stunned by the sudden goal, Austria's halftime plans were thrown out the
window. He tries to be a little more aggressive, but Korea has no trouble
stopping the slightly hesitant Austrian attack.
While he isn't nearly as gung-ho, Korea doesn't abandon his offense
completely. He generates a few chances as well, so it isn't a stall tactic. He
still wants to score just as much as he wants to deny Austria.
Still, the mismatch prevents Korea from doing a whole lot. He does fine
keeping things even, but can't gain a clear advantage over an Austria team that
is starting to regroup.
 |
Just a lot of muddling around in
midfield here. I suppose it works to Korea's advantage.
Thirty minutes left though. Still a lot of time. |
 |
Austria gets it back now, shoots it
straight forward. Has someone clear! Wide open breakaway
for Austria! The shot! Keeper dives and just gets a
piece of it! Defense gets there to clear it in time. |
 |
Yeah... way too much time left. |
Austria is starting to move the ball much better, but Korea's
still firm in his defense. Still, Austria's beginning to get more
possession and trying more things.
 |
Austria holding it at midfield. Korea
letting him, trying to keep everyone in front covered.
Dribbles forward and now someone's up to mark him but he
passes into the box! Gets off a quick shot! Off the
post! Gets up there and he puts it back in! Equalizer
for Austria! |
 |
Yep, you're starting to see it now.
Korea's starting to tire a bit, letting Austria have
just a little more room to work with. It wasn't a lot,
pretty good coverage in the box actually, but Korea let
Austria's gears turn a little too long and he came up
with a beauty of a goal. |

69' - GOAL (AUT) - Korea 3, Austria 3
Austria continues to dominate the possession battle now and Korea's legs are
starting to get heavier. He doesn't act like there's a problem, but Austria gets
more and more shots in and only some heroic saves in goal prevent him from
taking the lead.
Thanks to a couple fresh subs, Korea is able to hold Austria off. He still
tries to mark as much as he can, but he's at least able to keep the burden off
his goalie.
 |
Into the box, but Korea clears it.
Shoots it out, but Austria takes it back. Quick pass to
the side and a quicker cross back into the box! Austria
heads it! Keeper dives, off his fingers and IN! GOAL!
AUSTRIA TAKES THE LEAD! |
 |
You can blame attrition on that one.
Austria kept on wearing down Korea and finally broke him. Just a systematic approach to it. Goal was pretty
nice though. Looked a lot Korea's first goal, don't you
think? |
 |
Oi, you're right. Ball touched ground
a bit more, but took a very similar route to goal. A
bitter capper all the same. How does Korea recover from
this? |
77' - GOAL (AUT) - Austria 4, Korea 3
At first, he doesn't. Austria continues to press forward while he has the
momentum, taking a page from Norway's book and not being satisfied with a one
goal lead. Korea is clearly wearing down and is lucky not to allow anything
further.
Finally, with time running out, Korea throws all caution to the wind and just
blitzes.
 |
Here's some movement now for Korea.
Driving hard, passing between his strikers. Up top, gets
a cross off! Header! Tipped over the bar! |
 |
Korea is on his emergency reserves
now, playing like his life depended on it. His life in
this tournament certainly does. |
Austria tries to keep it and drive forward, but somehow Korea is
able to get it back and continue striking. Austria's defense mops up
some of it, and some of it forces the keeper to act, but there is no
stopping Korea.
 |
Another chance down the side! Austria
tries to guard him but Korea gets off the cross! Has a
man in the box! The header! No, it's wide left! |
 |
Oh, that was his chance right there!
He had the keeper beat, but it just trails off the mark.
How he keeps getting back up after all this is
remarkable. |
Remarkable, perhaps, but not enough.
 |
Ball goes out. Throw-in for Austria.
Collects it, kicks it to midfield and there's the
whistle! It's all over! Austria with a man advantage,
still needs more late magic but secures three points! |
 |
And a heart-breaking loss for Korea.
Everything working against him and he still came close
to tying it at the end. But two games, no points and
zero chance of advancing to the Round of 16. Korea
becomes the first team eliminated from the tournament. |
Korea's face-down on the pitch, completely drained and trying not
to show his tears to the crowd. His section of fans, pretty
respectable considering how close they are to Austria's borders, are
just as inconsolable.
Austria looks back and almost feels sorry for him. But Hungary's glomping him
too hard for him to respond.
|
Day
8- Stuttgart |
Match 23 |
Group C |
 |
KOREA |
3:4
FT |
AUSTRIA |
 |
9'
23'
46' |
Lee
Lee
Lee |
Referee
SLD |
Haas
Vastic
Vastic
Ivanschitz |
22'
39'
69'
77' |
Don't ask me if that's the same Lee that scored all three goals. There's a
lot of Lees playing for Korea Republic in this game.
After he's given time to face the music, Korea has to face Vietnam. He's
trying to be chipper, but can't pull it off.
 |
It was an inspiring effort, Korea,
but a tough loss knocks you out of the tournament. |
 |
I don't like it. As much as I want to
dismiss all of this and say it was a bad call or say
that I got a tough draw or say this whole tournament
wasn't such a big deal to me anyway... it really hurts.
I really wanted to win and was looking forward to
topping all these challenges. |
 |
The red card did change the game in a
major way and you didn't seem to agree with the call.
How did that impact your play? |
 |
It was a bad call, but I came out in
the second half determined to get past it. I had it
going for a long time, but just lost it in the end. Mr.
Austria played a great game. |
 |
Despite being eliminated from
advancing, at least you do have one match left. |
 |
Yep, and I'll show everybody what my
spirit's capable of. I am going to put all this behind
me and beat Mr. England! |
 |
Bold claim, but it should be one to
watch. Thanks, Korea. |
 |
Thanks, Vietnam. And you're right,
that red card really changed the game. It was a little
spotty, I didn't like it, and I think it cost Korea his
tournament. But interesting that he mentioned his draw
as well. |
 |
Oi, I'm with you there. Korea got an
unlucky draw, no doubt. But that's the tournament for you.
Besides, I didn't think anyone expected Austria to be
this formidable. |
 |
No. We knew he was all right, but
Austria's faced the two seeded teams in Group C and has
four points. All he needs now is a draw against Norway,
who's suddenly looking a little suspect, and he's through. |
 |
Sounds like a cue to take a look at
the tables: |
And here they are:
| |
Group A |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Russia |
2 |
1 |
1 |
0 |
7 |
4 |
3 |
4 |
| |
Germany |
2 |
1 |
0 |
1 |
6 |
6 |
0 |
3 |
| |
Greece |
2 |
1 |
0 |
1 |
5 |
7 |
-2 |
3 |
| |
Hungary |
2 |
0 |
1 |
1 |
5 |
6 |
-1 |
1 |
|
| |
Group B |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Holland |
2 |
1 |
1 |
0 |
7 |
4 |
3 |
4 |
| |
Japan |
2 |
1 |
0 |
1 |
6 |
3 |
3 |
3 |
| |
Canada |
2 |
1 |
0 |
1 |
6 |
7 |
-1 |
3 |
| |
Belgium |
2 |
0 |
1 |
1 |
1 |
6 |
-5 |
1 |
|
| |
Group C |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
England |
2 |
1 |
1 |
0 |
6 |
3 |
3 |
4 |
| |
Austria |
2 |
1 |
1 |
0 |
6 |
5 |
1 |
4 |
| |
Norway |
2 |
1 |
0 |
1 |
5 |
6 |
-1 |
3 |
| |
Korea |
2 |
0 |
0 |
2 |
5 |
8 |
-3 |
0 |
|
| |
Group D |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Spain |
2 |
2 |
0 |
0 |
6 |
3 |
3 |
6 |
| |
Turkey |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
4 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
| |
Latvia |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
2 |
4 |
-2 |
0 |
| |
Lithuania |
2 |
0 |
0 |
2 |
3 |
6 |
-3 |
0 |
|
| |
Group E |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Denmark |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
7 |
3 |
4 |
3 |
| |
France |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
4 |
0 |
4 |
3 |
| |
Hong Kong |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
3 |
7 |
-4 |
0 |
| |
Finland |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
4 |
-4 |
0 |
|
| |
Group F |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Egypt |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
5 |
2 |
3 |
3 |
| |
Italy |
1 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
4 |
4 |
0 |
1 |
| |
Switzerland |
1 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
4 |
4 |
0 |
1 |
| |
Estonia |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
2 |
5 |
-3 |
0 |
|
| |
Group G |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Sweden |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
6 |
0 |
6 |
3 |
| |
Iceland |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
2 |
1 |
1 |
3 |
| |
Liechtenstein |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
1 |
2 |
-1 |
0 |
| |
Poland |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
0 |
6 |
-6 |
0 |
|
| |
Group H |
Pld |
W |
D |
L |
GF |
GA |
GD |
Pts |
| |
Belarus |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
6 |
2 |
4 |
3 |
| |
Ukraine |
1 |
1 |
0 |
0 |
3 |
2 |
1 |
3 |
| |
America |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
2 |
3 |
-1 |
0 |
| |
China |
1 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
2 |
6 |
-4 |
0 |
|
Let's wrap this up.
 |
Amazing that as good as Norway looked
in his first game, he's now on the outside looking in.
He'll need a win against Austria to advance. England
needs a win or draw against Korea, who's just playing
for pride. |
 |
But he's got enough of that to be
dangerous. England definitely needs to stay on his game. |
 |
Still remarkable that of all the
teams so far, nobody has punched a ticket to the Round
of 16 and Korea, fourth place finisher in 2002, is the
first going home. |
 |
Well, he could have a lot of company
tomorrow. If things play out right, four teams could
move on and four teams could be sent home. |
 |
Oi, Group D could be settled
completely and it'll be up to Latvia to keep the drama
alive. A loss to Turkey in the arvo match will knock out
both him and Lithuania. |
 |
Group E could be just as clean as
France and Denmark seek their second wins against Hong
Kong and Finland. |
 |
'Til then, this is Australia and Cuba
saying see ya next time! |
Sorry for the lack of pictures in the Spain-Lithuania match.
Camera had a premature incineration. You're not missing much, since
you probably got intimately familiar with Spain's kits watching the
real World Cup. Lithuania was decked out in Christmas tree green,
cementing their status as having the ugliest kits in the tournament,
quite a feat considering Sweden and Ukraine's penchant for yellow.
I'm on staff with Geek.Kon (now with "voice of America" Eric Vale!) and
that's been occupying a lot of my time lately. I'll try to get one or two more
episodes up before the con Labor Day weekend. Thankfully, only three more days
before we start everyone's final games. Four matches a day, but because each
group plays simultaneously, I only really need to write two of them. We'll need
more field reporters though...
To Be Continued!
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|